September 4, 2020 Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for The Devil’s administration, a senior…
September 4, 2020 Sony Acquires Exclusive Rights to All Spiders and Men, Just to Be Safe Sony Acquires Exclusive Rights to All Spiders and Men, Just to Be Safe NEW YORK — Sony Entertainment has acquired exclusive rights to all depictions of arachnids and men in film, television, and video games, just in case…
April 5, 2020 Study Shows the Most Played Video Game of the Quarantine is ‘Try Not to Cum Challenge’ Study Shows the Most Played Video Game of the Quarantine is ‘Try Not to Cum Challenge’ NEW YORK — A new study by Columbia University has revealed that the most played video game of the COVID-19 pandemic is the pornographic ‘Try…
January 12, 2020 Elderly Man Kindly Rewinds YouTube Video to the Start So Next Viewer Doesn’t Have To Elderly Man Kindly Rewinds YouTube Video to the Start So Next Viewer Doesn’t Have To FRESNO, Calif. — Local caretaker Ellie Franklin reported yesterday afternoon that the elderly man she looks after, Jim Anderson, was seen rewinding through the YouTube…
August 19, 2018 Mega Man Gains Herpes Ability After Defeating Florida Man Mega Man Gains Herpes Ability After Defeating Florida Man MONSTEROPOLIS, Fla. — A routine extermination of a rogue android known as Florida Man took an unexpected turn yesterday when super fighting robot Mega Man…
July 6, 2017 Marvel Reboots Spider-Man Movie During Your Popcorn and Slushie Run Marvel Reboots Spider-Man Movie During Your Popcorn and Slushie Run NEW YORK — After leaving to buy snacks midway through a screening of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Liam Brewster was shocked to discover that Marvel had already…
