June 26, 2021 Review: 20 Years Later, Majora’s Mask Is Still a Revolutionary Game I Haven’t Played Review: 20 Years Later, Majora’s Mask Is Still a Revolutionary Game I Haven’t Played According to Wikipedia, The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask is “A Video Game Released in 2000.” But if you ask me, it’s also much more…
September 19, 2020 Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3 Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3 CLOCK TOWN, Termina —  Clock Town resident and Stock Pot Inn owner Anju, 17, reported confusion today after struggling to remember what day it was…
July 9, 2020 Termina Resident Convinced Giant, Ominous Moon a Liberal Hoax Termina Resident Convinced Giant, Ominous Moon a Liberal Hoax CLOCK TOWN — A Termina citizen took to the streets yesterday to denounce the large, ominous moon inching ever closer to the city as “a…
July 1, 2020 Young Link Shaken After Seeing What a Loser Virgin He Grows Up to Be Young Link Shaken After Seeing What a Loser Virgin He Grows Up to Be HYRULE — Feeling completely shaken after pulling the Master Sword from its pedestal, unlocking the path to the Sacred Realm and traveling seven years into the…
March 20, 2020 Sephora Launches New Majora’s Mask, Leaving Women Exfoliated and Burdened With Dark Magic Sephora Launches New Majora’s Mask, Leaving Women Exfoliated and Burdened With Dark Magic SEATTLE — Sephora patrons rushed into local stores early Friday for the launch of Majora’s Mask, Nintendo’s limited-time exfoliation product, only to complain days later…
March 27, 2018 Ocarina of Time Owl Announced as New White House Press Secretary Ocarina of Time Owl Announced as New White House Press Secretary WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump surprised Americans today by replacing Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders with the talking owl who appeared in The Legend of…
