luigi

Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week

KYOTO, Japan — A Nintendo press release has revealed that after decades of work as video games’ most iconic mascot,…

4 years ago

Kart Racer Just Wanted to See If It Would Let Him Go Over There

ROYAL RACEWAY — A kart driver at the Royal Raceway Grand Prix was accused of trespassing on the grounds of…

4 years ago

Charles Martinet Steps Down as Voice of Mario After Being Unable to Finish Eating Gigantic Bowl of Spaghetti

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Famous Nintendo voice actor Charles Martinet has stepped down as the voice of Mario after failing…

4 years ago

Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it…

4 years ago

Moronic Dataminers Thrilled After Discovering Luigi In ‘Super Mario 64 DS’

NEW YORK — Following a string of leaks of early builds and scrapped ideas for beloved Nintendo games, the emulation…

4 years ago

Luigi Loses Left Eye In Collision With Rubber Bullet Bill

NEW DONK CITY — Beloved local hero Luigi was blinded in his left eye at a protest against police brutality…

4 years ago

Director of Mario Movie Revealed to be Two Gloved Hands

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today in a press release that the future Mario film will be directed by two…

7 years ago