luigi

Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next WeekNintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week

Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week

KYOTO, Japan — A Nintendo press release has revealed that after decades of work as video games’ most iconic mascot,…

4 years ago
Kart Racer Just Wanted to See If It Would Let Him Go Over ThereKart Racer Just Wanted to See If It Would Let Him Go Over There

Kart Racer Just Wanted to See If It Would Let Him Go Over There

ROYAL RACEWAY — A kart driver at the Royal Raceway Grand Prix was accused of trespassing on the grounds of…

4 years ago
Charles Martinet Steps Down as Voice of Mario After Being Unable to Finish Eating Gigantic Bowl of SpaghettiCharles Martinet Steps Down as Voice of Mario After Being Unable to Finish Eating Gigantic Bowl of Spaghetti

Charles Martinet Steps Down as Voice of Mario After Being Unable to Finish Eating Gigantic Bowl of Spaghetti

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Famous Nintendo voice actor Charles Martinet has stepped down as the voice of Mario after failing…

5 years ago
Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires LuigiNintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi

Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it…

5 years ago
Moronic Dataminers Thrilled After Discovering Luigi In ‘Super Mario 64 DS’Moronic Dataminers Thrilled After Discovering Luigi In ‘Super Mario 64 DS’

Moronic Dataminers Thrilled After Discovering Luigi In ‘Super Mario 64 DS’

NEW YORK — Following a string of leaks of early builds and scrapped ideas for beloved Nintendo games, the emulation…

5 years ago
Luigi Loses Left Eye In Collision With Rubber Bullet BillLuigi Loses Left Eye In Collision With Rubber Bullet Bill

Luigi Loses Left Eye In Collision With Rubber Bullet Bill

NEW DONK CITY — Beloved local hero Luigi was blinded in his left eye at a protest against police brutality…

5 years ago
Director of Mario Movie Revealed to be Two Gloved HandsDirector of Mario Movie Revealed to be Two Gloved Hands

Director of Mario Movie Revealed to be Two Gloved Hands

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today in a press release that the future Mario film will be directed by two…

7 years ago