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Sephora Launches New Majora’s Mask, Leaving Women Exfoliated and Burdened With Dark MagicSephora Launches New Majora’s Mask, Leaving Women Exfoliated and Burdened With Dark Magic

Sephora Launches New Majora’s Mask, Leaving Women Exfoliated and Burdened With Dark Magic

SEATTLE — Sephora patrons rushed into local stores early Friday for the launch of Majora's Mask, Nintendo’s limited-time exfoliation product,…

5 years ago
Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Man’s Arm for Triforce TattooNintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Man’s Arm for Triforce Tattoo

Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Man’s Arm for Triforce Tattoo

ATLANTA — Video game company Nintendo has sent a cease and desist to local fan Denis Fernandez for his Legend…

5 years ago
Opinion: For All His Faults, Ganondorf Was a Patriot and a Man of PrincipleOpinion: For All His Faults, Ganondorf Was a Patriot and a Man of Principle

Opinion: For All His Faults, Ganondorf Was Patriot and a Man of Principle

Ganondorf Dragmire served Hyrule for seven years as it’s king and as we mourn his recent passing, it is important…

6 years ago
Ocarina Teacher Sighs Deeply as She’s Asked to Teach ‘Saria’s Song’ Yet AgainOcarina Teacher Sighs Deeply as She’s Asked to Teach ‘Saria’s Song’ Yet Again

Ocarina Teacher Sighs Deeply as She’s Asked to Teach ‘Saria’s Song’ Yet Again

LOS ANGELES — Music teacher and ocarina virtuoso Marissa Harte let out a troubling and defeated sigh upon being asked…

6 years ago
Trick or Treater Dressed as Link Mistaken for Peter Pan at Every HouseTrick or Treater Dressed as Link Mistaken for Peter Pan at Every House

Trick or Treater Dressed as Link Mistaken for Peter Pan at Every House

TOLEDO, Ohio — Clad in Link’s signature green tunic, a hand stitched hat, and prosthetic elf ears, eight-year-old Thomas McConnell…

7 years ago
Favored Derby Horse Vanishes After Adventurer Whistles Two States AwayFavored Derby Horse Vanishes After Adventurer Whistles Two States Away

Favored Derby Horse Vanishes After Adventurer Whistles Two States Away

ADAIR, Okla. — Fans at today’s 114th Kentucky Derby were reportedly confused and terrified as they watched Justify, a favorite…

7 years ago
Ocarina of Time Owl Announced as New White House Press SecretaryOcarina of Time Owl Announced as New White House Press Secretary

Ocarina of Time Owl Announced as New White House Press Secretary

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump surprised Americans today by replacing Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders with the talking owl who…

7 years ago
‘Breath of the Wild’ Player Finally Acquires Rare, Powerful Weapon to Look At and Never Use‘Breath of the Wild’ Player Finally Acquires Rare, Powerful Weapon to Look At and Never Use

‘Breath of the Wild’ Player Finally Acquires Rare, Powerful Weapon to Look At and Never Use

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Luna Dalton came across a mighty weapon guaranteed to deal massive damage to her enemies while also…

8 years ago