lara croft

Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’

SAN MATEO, Calif. — PlayStation executives announced today that Square Enix’s Shadow of the Tomb Raider will be this month’s…

6 years ago

Lara Croft Explores Ruins of Empty Theater in Latest Tomb Raider

NEW YORK — Following the breakout success of the recent video game reboot, the newest Tomb Raider movie is now…

7 years ago

World Famous Archaeologist Dies After Not Timing Jump Right

KITEZH, Russia — Famed archaeologist/adventurer Lara Croft fell to her death in the lost city of Kitezh today, after mistiming…

7 years ago

Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery

L OS ANGELES — Following decades of suffering, Lara Croft reportedly underwent a successful surgery today to reduce her incredibly large and geometrically…

8 years ago