January 1, 2019 Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’ Shadow of the Tomb Raider Announced as Free PS Plus Game for ‘As Long as It Takes to Get Someone to Play This Fucking Thing’ SAN MATEO, Calif. — PlayStation executives announced today that Square Enix’s Shadow of the Tomb Raider will be this month’s free PS Plus game, and…
March 16, 2018 Lara Croft Explores Ruins of Empty Theater in Latest Tomb Raider Lara Croft Explores Ruins of Empty Theater in Latest Tomb Raider NEW YORK — Following the breakout success of the recent video game reboot, the newest Tomb Raider movie is now sending Lara Croft on her…
October 18, 2017 World Famous Archaeologist Dies After Not Timing Jump Right World Famous Archaeologist Dies After Not Timing Jump Right KITEZH, Russia — Famed archaeologist/adventurer Lara Croft fell to her death in the lost city of Kitezh today, after mistiming a jump between two cliffs.…
June 5, 2017 Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery L OS ANGELES — Following decades of suffering, Lara Croft reportedly underwent a successful surgery today to reduce her incredibly large and geometrically pleasing breasts today. “After years…
