March 5, 2020 We Asked Kirby Why He Doesn’t Just Turn Into Endangered Species and Fuck Them We Asked Kirby Why He Doesn’t Just Turn Into Endangered Species and Fuck Them DREAM LAND — A recent sit down interview with Nintendo superstar Kirby revealed some insights into a decades long career as a top tier mascot…
July 26, 2019 Everyone Nervously Avoiding Kirby Who Ate Louis CK Everyone Nervously Avoiding Kirby Who Ate Louis CK NEW YORK — Fans and performers at the Comedy Cellar last night reportedly kept their distance from comedy newcomer Kirby, following an altercation in which…
May 4, 2019 Paramount Buries Sonic Controversy With Brilliant New Kirby Design Paramount Buries Sonic Controversy With Brilliant New Kirby Design LOS ANGELES — In a PR blitz designed to negate the backlash to their Sonic the Hedgehog live-action design, Paramount executives scrambled to appease fans…
March 22, 2019 ‘Alas, This Brings to Me No Comfort,’ Sighs Kirby After Winning 4,352nd Eating Contest in a Row ‘Alas, This Brings to Me No Comfort,’ Sighs Kirby After Winning 4,352nd Eating Contest in a Row DREAM LAND — After coming in first place in an unprecedented 4,352nd eating contest in a row, the hero of Dream Land, Kirby, took the…
October 31, 2017 9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project 9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project PITTSBURGH — Rumor mills are churning after 9-year-old nephew Kevin Cott claimed privileged information about an unannounced Nintendo game at a family get-together last weekend,…
