March 7, 2020 Campaign Staff Begging Joe Biden to Stop Mashing Through Dialogue Options Campaign Staff Begging Joe Biden to Stop Mashing Through Dialogue Options PHILADELPHIA — Staffers within the Joe Biden presidential campaign are reportedly begging the former Vice President to stop mashing the A-button through all of his…
March 5, 2020 Moderates Attempt to Cancel America’s Evolution Moderates Attempt to Cancel America’s Evolution UNITED STATES — After years and countless experience points towards progression, America has finally reached a high enough level to evolve to its next form.…
February 12, 2020 CNN Political Analysts Explain First Is the Worst, Second Is the Best, Third Is the One With the Hairy Chest CNN Political Analysts Explain First Is the Worst, Second Is the Best, Third Is the One With the Hairy Chest NEW YORK — Political analysts sitting around the CNN roundtable explained to viewers today after the decisive New Hampshire primary that first is the worst,…
January 11, 2020 Nation Not Sure Normal-Type Candidate Even Worth Catching Nation Not Sure Normal-Type Candidate Even Worth Catching CEDAR RAPIDS, Mich. — After months of deliberation during a contentious Democratic primary, voters are beginning to wonder whether a Normal-type Presidential candidate is even…
December 1, 2019 Joe Biden Receives Key ‘Spacer’s Choice’ Endorsement Joe Biden Receives Key ‘Spacer’s Choice’ Endorsement EDGEWATER — Democratic nominee hopeful Joe Biden has been endorsed by Spacer’s Choice, the candidate announced over the weekend. “I am honored to have the…
November 22, 2019 Report: Only 9% of Voters Think Joe Biden Could Defeat John Cena and The Undertaker in a Triple Threat Match Report: Only 9% of Voters Think Joe Biden Could Defeat John Cena and The Undertaker in a Triple Threat Match WASHINGTON — In a sharp rebuke towards his flagging candidacy, only 9% of Democratic voters believe Joe Biden could defeat John Cena and The Undertaker…
