hitman

Nation Sets Aside Differences to Agree on Timothy Olyphant

WASHINGTON — A nation on the brink of collapse took a few moments today to universally agree that Timothy Olyphant…

4 years ago

Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, Hitman, and Blaseball?

A new era is upon us. This year, a new generation of consoles will come into our homes, bringing us…

4 years ago

Agent 47 Grateful All of Humanity Wears 34” Inseam

ICA FACILITY (LOCATION UNKNOWN) — Agent 47, professional assassin, expressed great relief today at the cold hard fact that every…

4 years ago

Man Knocked Out by Agent 47 Starts New Life After Waking Up Next to Chef Outfit

MIAMI — 35-year-old Francisco Guerreros has been living a new life as a chef after a chance encounter with a…

5 years ago

Agent 47 Finds Manhattan Jail Mission Weirdly Easy

NEW YORK — During his latest mission to kill and silence noted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein in the Manhattan Correctional Center…

5 years ago