hitman

Nation Sets Aside Differences to Agree on Timothy OlyphantNation Sets Aside Differences to Agree on Timothy Olyphant

Nation Sets Aside Differences to Agree on Timothy Olyphant

WASHINGTON — A nation on the brink of collapse took a few moments today to universally agree that Timothy Olyphant…

4 years ago
Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, Hitman, and Blaseball?Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, Hitman, and Blaseball?

Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, Hitman, and Blaseball?

A new era is upon us. This year, a new generation of consoles will come into our homes, bringing us…

5 years ago
Agent 47 Grateful All of Humanity Wears a 34” InseamAgent 47 Grateful All of Humanity Wears a 34” Inseam

Agent 47 Grateful All of Humanity Wears 34” Inseam

ICA FACILITY (LOCATION UNKNOWN) — Agent 47, professional assassin, expressed great relief today at the cold hard fact that every…

5 years ago
Man Knocked Out by Agent 47 Starts New Life After Waking Up Next to Chef OutfitMan Knocked Out by Agent 47 Starts New Life After Waking Up Next to Chef Outfit

Man Knocked Out by Agent 47 Starts New Life After Waking Up Next to Chef Outfit

MIAMI — 35-year-old Francisco Guerreros has been living a new life as a chef after a chance encounter with a…

6 years ago
Agent 47 Finds Manhattan Jail Mission Weirdly EasyAgent 47 Finds Manhattan Jail Mission Weirdly Easy

Agent 47 Finds Manhattan Jail Mission Weirdly Easy

NEW YORK — During his latest mission to kill and silence noted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein in the Manhattan Correctional Center…

6 years ago