hedgehog

Sonic the Hedgehog Found Crushed to Death Inside Vegas Slot MachineSonic the Hedgehog Found Crushed to Death Inside Vegas Slot Machine

Sonic the Hedgehog Found Crushed to Death Inside Vegas Slot Machine

LAS VEGAS — Tragedy struck at the Bellagio Hotel & Casino today, as the squished and dismembered carcass of beloved…

4 years ago
It Gets Worse: New Report Reveals Michael Jackson’s Sonic 3 Soundtrack Was Also Arranged by OJ SimpsonIt Gets Worse: New Report Reveals Michael Jackson’s Sonic 3 Soundtrack Was Also Arranged by OJ Simpson

It Gets Worse: New Report Reveals Michael Jackson’s Sonic 3 Soundtrack Was Also Arranged by OJ Simpson

Fans of Sega’s iconic blue hedgehog have been wondering for years why the company has stopped distributing 1994’s Sonic the…

5 years ago
Eccentric Zoo Owner Insists There’s Nothing Unethical About Owning Big the CatEccentric Zoo Owner Insists There’s Nothing Unethical About Owning Big the Cat

Eccentric Zoo Owner Insists There’s Nothing Unethical About Owning Big the Cat

WYNNEWOOD, Okla. — Local Big the Cat owner and G.W. Zoo founder, Joe Exotic, insists that there is absolutely nothing…

5 years ago
If Sonic Water Levels Gave You Lifelong Anxiety, You May Be Entitled to CompensationIf Sonic Water Levels Gave You Lifelong Anxiety, You May Be Entitled to Compensation

If Sonic Water Levels Gave You Lifelong Anxiety, You May Be Entitled to Compensation

Thousands of gamers across the world are providing testimonials accusing Sonic The Hedgehog water levels of giving them lifelong anxiety…

5 years ago
Doctor Informs Knuckles That Those Are Actually Tumors on His HandsDoctor Informs Knuckles That Those Are Actually Tumors on His Hands

Doctor Informs Knuckles That Those Are Actually Tumors on His Hands

STATION SQUARE — In a somber twist to an otherwise routine checkup, a doctor on call at Station Square Medical…

6 years ago
Paramount Buries Sonic Controversy With Brilliant New Kirby DesignParamount Buries Sonic Controversy With Brilliant New Kirby Design

Paramount Buries Sonic Controversy With Brilliant New Kirby Design

LOS ANGELES — In a PR blitz designed to negate the backlash to their Sonic the Hedgehog live-action design, Paramount…

6 years ago
Furry Community Distances Self From Sonic the HedgehogFurry Community Distances Self From Sonic the Hedgehog

Furry Community Distances Self From Sonic the Hedgehog

RUMIA, Poland — At the ninth annual Gdakon Con, furries came from all over the world to fuck each other…

6 years ago
ACLU Publicly Drops Support for First Amendment After Discovering Sonic Fan ArtACLU Publicly Drops Support for First Amendment After Discovering Sonic Fan Art

ACLU Publicly Drops Support for First Amendment After Discovering Sonic Fan Art

NEW YORK — In a press conference today, American Civil Liberties Union president Susan N. Herman announced that the organization…

7 years ago
Sonic the Hedgehog Visits Sick DeviantArt User for Make-A-Wish to Tell Him His OC is CanonSonic the Hedgehog Visits Sick DeviantArt User for Make-A-Wish to Tell Him His OC is Canon

Sonic the Hedgehog Visits Sick DeviantArt User for Make-A-Wish to Tell Him His OC is Canon

OSWEGO, N.Y. — Sonic the Hedgehog honored the Make-A-Wish request of 13-year-old DeviantArt regular Jake Applebaum, declaring his self-created character…

8 years ago