harry potter

Vengeful God Moves On to Next Thing Tumblr Holds Dear

HIGHER REALM — Overcome with wrath and scorn, the ruler of the universe has reportedly taken the next step toward…

4 years ago

Experimental Book Features Unreliable Author

LONDON — Transgressive writer J.K Rowling has astonished audiences with her new book Troubled Blood, featuring herself as the story’s…

4 years ago

JK Rowling Announces Personal Fantasy Novel

LONDON — Harry Potter author JK Rowling has announced that her next novel, about a cisgender man who dresses as…

4 years ago

Progress: We Finally Have Female Orson Scott Card

EDINBURGH — Young adult fiction fans are rejoicing as the literature world finally has a female equivalent to Orson Scott…

4 years ago

J.K. Rowling Reveals Harry Potter Would Vote for Michael Bloomberg in Obvious Advertising Campaign

LONDON — In what fans are calling the most pathetic example of Michael Bloomberg’s viral campaign advertising, Harry Potter author…

5 years ago

Pottermore Update Requires Picture of Genitals Before Confirming Gender

LONDON — A recent Pottermore update will now require users to upload pictures of their genitals in order to confirm…

5 years ago

Self-Described ‘Gryffindor’ Lacks Courage to Hold Any Other Beliefs

ATLANTA — Local Harry Potter fan and self-described “Gryffindor,” Daniel Wells, decidedly fails to live up to the courage associated…

5 years ago

Rick Riordan Announces Percy Jackson Pansexual Fuck Machine

BOSTON — Popular fantasy author Rick Riordan announced via Twitter today that his character Percy Jackson is a pansexual fuck…

6 years ago

Harry Potter Now Receiving Donation Requests From Hogwarts

LONDON — ‘The Boy Who Lived’ and now-famous Auror Harry Potter has reportedly been inundated by donation request owls from…

6 years ago