halo

Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office

REDMOND, Wash. — Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, new co-workers Master Chief and Doomguy had an awkward first day at…

4 years ago

Halo Infinite Harkens Back to the Series’ Roots by Letting Players Collect 25 Computer Parts to Upgrade Grappling Hook

REDMOND, Wash. — 343 released new information about their upcoming game Halo Infinite today that shows it harkens back to…

4 years ago

Images From 343’s ‘Super Mario 64 Anniversary’ Leaked and It Looks Incredible

Holy shit you guys. Apparently 343, the company known for making the Halo games after Bungie moved on to Destiny,…

4 years ago

343 Releases Video of Halo Players Calling People Gay on Voice Chat in Honor of Pride Month

REDMOND, Wash. — 343 has released a heartwarming video to social media in honor of LGBTQ+ pride showcasing thousands audio…

4 years ago

Sesame Street Helps Losers Cope by Introducing Muppet that Sucks Ass at Halo

NEW YORK — Sesame Street announced plans to introduce a new Muppet that is absolutely horrendous at the video game…

5 years ago

Next Halo to Include Son to Take Care Of and Web Slinging Abilities

REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft shocked the world today by announcing that Halo Infinite, the upcoming entry in their flagship franchise…

6 years ago

Bungie Incorporates ‘Masturbate’ Emote Into Destiny 2 so Players Can Truly Go Fuck Themselves

BELLEVUE, Wash. — After intense player demands and complaints, Bungie finally announced a new addition to the Destiny 2 Eververse…

6 years ago

Halo 2 Lobby in 12th Year of Guy Delaying Countdown

ANAHEIM, Calif. — A group of twelve Halo 2 players currently stuck in a matchmaking lobby reportedly hit the twelfth…

7 years ago

9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project

PITTSBURGH — Rumor mills are churning after 9-year-old nephew Kevin Cott claimed privileged information about an unannounced Nintendo game at…

7 years ago