March 28, 2021 Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office REDMOND, Wash. — Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, new co-workers Master Chief and Doomguy had an awkward first day at the office after realizing they…
September 3, 2020 Halo Infinite Harkens Back to the Series’ Roots by Letting Players Collect 25 Computer Parts to Upgrade Grappling Hook Halo Infinite Harkens Back to the Series’ Roots by Letting Players Collect 25 Computer Parts to Upgrade Grappling Hook REDMOND, Wash. — 343 released new information about their upcoming game Halo Infinite today that shows it harkens back to the series’ roots by letting…
August 18, 2020 Images From 343’s ‘Super Mario 64 Anniversary’ Leaked and It Looks Incredible Images From 343’s ‘Super Mario 64 Anniversary’ Leaked and It Looks Incredible Holy shit you guys. Apparently 343, the company known for making the Halo games after Bungie moved on to Destiny, is working on a remake…
June 10, 2020 343 Releases Video of Halo Players Calling People Gay on Voice Chat in Honor of Pride Month 343 Releases Video of Halo Players Calling People Gay on Voice Chat in Honor of Pride Month REDMOND, Wash. — 343 has released a heartwarming video to social media in honor of LGBTQ+ pride showcasing thousands audio clips from Halo fans calling…
March 15, 2020 Sesame Street Helps Losers Cope by Introducing Muppet that Sucks Ass at Halo Sesame Street Helps Losers Cope by Introducing Muppet that Sucks Ass at Halo NEW YORK — Sesame Street announced plans to introduce a new Muppet that is absolutely horrendous at the video game Halo, in an effort to…
October 2, 2018 Next Halo to Include Son to Take Care Of and Web Slinging Abilities Next Halo to Include Son to Take Care Of and Web Slinging Abilities REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft shocked the world today by announcing that Halo Infinite, the upcoming entry in their flagship franchise will introduce new features to…
May 29, 2018 Bungie Incorporates ‘Masturbate’ Emote Into Destiny 2 so Players Can Truly Go Fuck Themselves Bungie Incorporates ‘Masturbate’ Emote Into Destiny 2 so Players Can Truly Go Fuck Themselves BELLEVUE, Wash. — After intense player demands and complaints, Bungie finally announced a new addition to the Destiny 2 Eververse store, an emote that will…
February 21, 2018 Halo 2 Lobby in 12th Year of Guy Delaying Countdown Halo 2 Lobby in 12th Year of Guy Delaying Countdown ANAHEIM, Calif. — A group of twelve Halo 2 players currently stuck in a matchmaking lobby reportedly hit the twelfth year of trying to start…
October 31, 2017 9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project 9 Year Old Nephew Has Scoop on Secret Nintendo Project PITTSBURGH — Rumor mills are churning after 9-year-old nephew Kevin Cott claimed privileged information about an unannounced Nintendo game at a family get-together last weekend,…
