May 12, 2021 New GTA “Israel Mode” Gives Civilians a Little Pocket Knife so You Feel Better About Going on Murderous Rampage New GTA “Israel Mode” Gives Civilians a Little Pocket Knife so You Feel Better About Going on Murderous Rampage NEW YORK — Grand Theft Auto 5 is getting a new Israel-themed game mode that gives tiny pocket knives to pedestrians, meaning you can murder…
November 16, 2020 Teen Inspired to Reenact Video Game Violence in Real Life Can’t Get Seed Funding to Build Roller Coaster Teen Inspired to Reenact Video Game Violence in Real Life Can’t Get Seed Funding to Build Roller Coaster BOISE, Idaho — Troubled sophomore Blaise Porter’s plans for mass vengeance have been slowly dashed by the tough business realities of building a roller coaster,…
July 8, 2020 Police Department Assigns Peaceful Protestors Automatic Five-Star Wanted Level Police Department Assigns Peaceful Protestors Automatic Five-Star Wanted Level LOS SANTOS, Calif. — In a move that local activists decried as the latest example of carceral state overreach, the Los Santos Police Department has…
June 11, 2020 If We Defund the Police, Whose Goddamn Helicopters Am I Going to Steal? If We Defund the Police, Whose Goddamn Helicopters Am I Going to Steal? Hey you ugly motherfuckers! I’ve been watching your pissy little protests and I have just one little bitty question for you. WHERE THE FUCK AM…
September 16, 2019 Julian Assange Enters U.S. and Immediately Gets 6-Star Wanted Level Julian Assange Enters U.S. and Immediately Gets 6-Star Wanted Level WASHINGTON — Founder of WikiLeaks Julian Assange immediately received a 6-star ‘wanted’ level after crossing the United States border, drawing all manners of law enforcement,…
May 31, 2019 Rockstar Games Posts Hastily Drawn 6 on Twitter to Distract People From Latest Controversy Rockstar Games Posts Hastily Drawn 6 on Twitter to Distract People From Latest Controversy NEW YORK — Hours after a new controversy about Rockstar Games became public knowledge, the video game company posted a crudely drawn teaser image featuring…
October 17, 2018 Humble Bundle Announces ‘Pretty Much Grand Theft Auto’ Collection Humble Bundle Announces ‘Pretty Much Grand Theft Auto’ Collection SAN FRANCISCO — Popular digital storefront Humble Bundle has revealed it’s latest collection of cultivated games available at a discounted price. The ‘Pretty Much Grand…
August 14, 2018 Cuphead’s ‘Hot Coffee’ Mod Lets You Fuck the Cups Cuphead’s ‘Hot Coffee’ Mod Lets You Fuck the Cups REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft apologized after fans discovered secret files that allows access to a hidden mode within Cuphead that players describe as a “hardcore…
July 1, 2018 Grand Theft Auto VI to Feature Rideshare Conversation Avoidance Mini-Game Grand Theft Auto VI to Feature Rideshare Conversation Avoidance Mini-Game NEW YORK — Rockstar Games has announced that the newest installment in its flagship Grand Theft Auto series will feature the ability to use rideshare…
