June 23, 2021 Earth Successfully Uninstalls McAfee Earth Successfully Uninstalls McAfee MADRID —The perpetually sunburned founder of McAfee Antivirus Software, John McAfee, was found uninstalled from planet Earth in a Spanish prison on Wednesday around 1…
June 15, 2021 Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean LOS ANGELES — Sunday morning kicked off Day Two of E3 with conferences from Microsoft, Square Enix, and Our Lord showcasing the new Halo’s multiplayer,…
October 13, 2020 God Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File Name God Laughs as Man Puts “Final” in Exported File Name HEAVEN — Our Heavenly Father was overwhelmed with laughter after watching Illinois native Bobby Kenworth use the word “final” in a new video file name…
October 5, 2020 God Uses McRib to Create Female Companion for Ronald McDonald God Uses McRib to Create Female Companion for Ronald McDonald WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Patrons at a local McDonalds restaurant were caught off guard earlier this week as God, alleged creator of the Earth and…
September 15, 2020 Vengeful God Moves On to Next Thing Tumblr Holds Dear Vengeful God Moves On to Next Thing Tumblr Holds Dear HIGHER REALM — Overcome with wrath and scorn, the ruler of the universe has reportedly taken the next step toward utterly destroying everything Tumblr loves.…
March 29, 2020 God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes HEAVEN — The almighty being who created the heavens and earth, God, admitted today that it’s actually kinda gay to create guys if you think…
June 28, 2019 Man Builds PC Tower to Heaven Man Builds PC Tower to Heaven ATLANTA — Having lost his previous gaming PC to a flood, Ned Myers has constructed a much bigger and more powerful build, reportedly reaching all…
July 24, 2018 God Resigns After Discovery of Old Testament God Resigns After Discovery of Old Testament HEAVEN — Succumbing to public outcry after the shocking discovery of an Old Testament written by Himself, God, the Father Almighty creator of Heaven and…
September 13, 2017 God Punishes GameStop Employees for Building Funko Pop Tower Too High God Punishes GameStop Employees for Building Funko Pop Tower Too High STROUDSBURG, Penn. — Heavenly father of all creation God recently rained His anger down upon a group of arrogant GameStop employees who tried to build…
