Gamestop

35 Year Old Coward Buys Strategy Guide

ITHACA, N.Y. — Sources report that Manuel Contreras, a 35-year old bachelor, was recently recognized purchasing a God of War…

7 years ago

GameStop Offers $13.75 for the Carolina Panthers

CHARLOTTE, N.C.— Following the surprising announcement that the Carolina Panthers will be put up for sale in the wake sexual…

7 years ago

Local Grandpa Drops by GameStop to Ask for Directions to the Steam Store

DENVER — Local grandfather Bill Willinkins drove his Lincoln Town Car to the GameStop in the Sutherland mall in an…

7 years ago

99-Year Old Former GameStop Employee Insists He Was Just Following Orders

HAGUE, Netherlands — On trial for a litany of crimes against humanity, ninety-nine year old former GameStop employee Max Sheehan…

7 years ago

GameStop Now Offering Pre-Returns of Assassin’s Creed Origins

GRAPEVINE, Texas — Video game retailer GameStop announced that for Ubisoft’s highly anticipated game, Assassin’s Creed Origins, it would allow…

7 years ago

Haunted GameStop Found to be Built Atop Ancient Atari E.T. Game Burial Grounds

ALAMOGORDO, N.M. — A recently opened GameStop experiencing a rash of paranormal phenomena was discovered to be built atop the…

7 years ago

God Punishes GameStop Employees for Building Funko Pop Tower Too High

STROUDSBURG, Penn. — Heavenly father of all creation God recently rained His anger down upon a group of arrogant GameStop…

7 years ago

GameStop Employee Whips Himself in Back Room After Failing to Sell Pre-Order

BINGHAMTON, N.Y. —  GameStop sales representative Donald Simpson quietly walked to the employee breakroom and proceeded to whip himself after…

7 years ago

GameStop Unveils Used N64 at E3

LOS ANGELES — Amid a packed auditorium, EDM music and swirling laser lights, GameStop CEO J. Paul Raines unveiled a…

7 years ago