gamer

Gamer Kicked Out of Louvre for Trying to Jump Into Mona Lisa World

PARIS — Panic broke out within the Louvre earlier this week when a tourist attempted to launch himself over the…

5 years ago

Unintuitive Controls Convenient Excuse for Sucking Real Bad at Game

LODI, N.J. — After consistently failing the same mission over and over, local gamer Josh Chung declared that unintuitive controls…

5 years ago

Gamer Touches Stove for First Time This Year

PASADENA, Calif. — Local gamer Miles Trench has reportedly touched his fingertip to the surface of his oven for the first…

5 years ago

Casual Gamer Can’t Even Beat First Stage of Grief

CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. — Twenty-eight year old Liam Glasser, secretly loathed by his friends and loved ones for failing to make…

5 years ago

Overworked Gamer Wishes He Could Just Stay Home and Hate Games All Day

SEATTLE — After working nearly the entire holiday season without a day off, local Walmart cashier Frank Lamonte reported that…

5 years ago

Gamers’ Rights Breakthrough: Cory Booker Will Say The Words ‘Video Games’ On Television Tonight

ORANGEBURG, S.C. — A leaked portion of one of Senator Cory Booker’s 2020 campaign documents has gamers anticipating an important…

6 years ago

Gamer Girl Toes [DO NOT PUBLISH]

Dear Hard Drive editors, Here are the pictures you wanted. I don’t have your email addresses so I uploaded this…

6 years ago

Opinion: It’s Time for Gamer President

Our country is in political turmoil as we look to our leaders and see no one who will rise up…

6 years ago

Professional Streamer Thanks Fans For Slowly Ruining His Favorite Hobby

GRAYSLAKE, Ill. — At the end of a twelve hour stream last night, Manson Prate, known to his Twitch followers…

6 years ago