March 1, 2019 Marine Throws Away Magazine With 29/30 Bullets Just In Case Marine Throws Away Magazine With 29/30 Bullets Just In Case KABUL, Afghanistan — Journalists embedded with a U.S. Marine unit in Afghanistan have recently uncovered millions of dollars in wasteful military spending due to excessive…
July 19, 2018 Grandpa’s Kill/Death Ratio Shifts to 0:1 Grandpa’s Kill/Death Ratio Shifts to 0:1 SEATTLE — Local grandfather Herbert Schumeister’s 93-year-long kill/death ratio shifted from 0:0 to 0:1 today, following his death from natural causes. “Grandpa Herb was such…
March 20, 2018 Second Person Shooter Game Raises Many Philosophical Questions Second Person Shooter Game Raises Many Philosophical Questions SAN FRANCISCO — A new second person shooter game called “Are You Playing?” — which features a gun-toting protagonist who faces the camera, instead of…
July 7, 2017 Wounded Iraq War Veteran Cured After Crouching Behind Box For Five Seconds Wounded Iraq War Veteran Cured After Crouching Behind Box For Five Seconds WASHINGTON — The Department of Veteran Affairs revealed a catch-all cure for combat veterans that simply requires them to hide behind a box for five…
