final fantasy

Pope Heartbroken to Discover Church Is Evil in Most JRPGs

VATICAN CITY — Following an announcement from Vatican officials that Pope Francis has started playing video games to pass time…

4 years ago

Huge OST Fan Has Never Actually Finished Final Fantasy 6 Soundtrack

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Darcy Martin, an alleged superfan of original video game soundtracks, has revealed that he has never actually…

4 years ago

Alex Jones Announces ‘InfoWars Tactics’

DALLAS, Texas — Claiming that the new game would revolutionize the long running InfoWars franchise, far-right radio host and conspiracy…

4 years ago

Racist JRPG Fan Casts Heal on Entire Party Whenever Black Character Injured

BOSTON — Offending his viewers by asserting that all of his characters’ hit points matter equally, JRPG enthusiast and known…

4 years ago

AOC Grafts Gun Onto Arm, Demands You Hear the Planet’s Cries of Pain

NEW YORK, N.Y. — Gesturing wildly with the large machine gun that had been recently surgically grafted onto her right…

4 years ago

Final Fantasy VII Remake’s Easy Mode Is Way Too Easy and Its Hard Mode Is Way Too Hard

Once upon a time there was a game called Final Fantasy VII Remake. I booted up the game and saw…

5 years ago

Final Fantasy 7 Remake Preorder Bonus Includes One-Third of Keychain

TOKYO — Square Enix has revealed a list of GameStop preorder bonuses for the upcoming Final Fantasy VII Remake, which…

5 years ago

Gamer Wishes There Was Some Way to Play FFVII Right Now

SANTA FE, N.M. — Blindsided by the delay of its upcoming remake, Square Enix fan Derick Stanley tells reporters he…

5 years ago

Final Fantasy VII Remake Finds Middle Ground by Giving Tifa Third, Average-Sized Breast

TOKYO — Among growing complaints about the size of Final Fantasy VII character Tifa’s breasts in the upcoming remake, Square…

5 years ago