February 22, 2021 Fast & Furious Franchise Announces Partnership With Olive Garden Fast & Furious Franchise Announces Partnership With Olive Garden LOS ANGELES — Restaurant chain Olive Garden has teamed up with the Fast & Furious franchise to promote the importance of “family” as a concept.…
October 2, 2020 Pornhub Premium Announces Family Plan Pornhub Premium Announces Family Plan MONTREAL — Adult video streaming service PornHub recently announced their plans to further their expansion into the streaming market by unveiling a new family plan…
September 27, 2020 Conversation With White Relatives About Systematic Racism Needs More Dialogue Options Conversation With White Relatives About Systematic Racism Needs More Dialogue Options SARASOTA, Fla. — Local college student Sara Withers complained about a lack of good dialogue options when speaking to her parents about the continued oppression…
March 23, 2020 Dad Playing ‘Secret Hitler’ Cannot Comprehend That the Liberals Are the Good Guys Dad Playing ‘Secret Hitler’ Cannot Comprehend That the Liberals Are the Good Guys MINEOLA, N.Y. — Tom Castellano was reportedly unable to comprehend that the liberal team were being presented as the good guys in Secret Hitler, after…
December 12, 2019 7-Year Old Lets Uncle Win in Video Game 7-Year Old Lets Uncle Win in Video Game FAIRHOPE, Ala. — Seven year old Kacey Logan let her uncle beat her in a round of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe at a family party…
May 29, 2019 36-Year-Old Gamer Practicing Every Day For Casual Smash Bros Match With Nephew at Family Get Together 36-Year-Old Gamer Practicing Every Day For Casual Smash Bros Match With Nephew at Family Get Together ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Jimmy Feldman has reportedly been practicing Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for three hours every single day after work in preparation for when…
February 15, 2019 Nation’s Parents Confirm Top New Streamer Named ‘Fungo’ or Something Along Those Lines Nation’s Parents Confirm Top New Streamer Named ‘Fungo’ or Something Along Those Lines COLUMBIA, S.C. — An advocacy group of American parents announced this morning that the top new personality on the Twitch video game streaming platform was…
December 10, 2018 “Well I Stan Your Father,” Explains Mom After First Day of Twitter “Well I Stan Your Father,” Explains Mom After First Day of Twitter MILWAUKEE, Wisc. — Local mother and new addition to the Twitter community Eileen Sommer reportedly announced to her family today, “We stan a legend, your…
September 28, 2018 QUIZ: Can You Have a Polite But Distant Conversation With Your Cousin Who Only Plays FIFA? QUIZ: Can You Have a Polite But Distant Conversation With Your Cousin Who Only Plays FIFA? You’re standing alone at the family get together. Your little cousin walks up to you and makes eye contact and… yep, god dammit, he wants…
