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Facebook Game Ad Actually Government Recruiting Device to Contract Earth’s Most Skilled Military Tacticians

WASHINGTON — Top government sources have revealed that the Facebook advertisement for a game called Douse The Goblin! is actually…

5 years ago

Facebook Employee Wastes Whole Day on Facebook Again

MENLO PARK — With a wave of disappointment washing over himself for squandering another potentially productive day, an employee at…

5 years ago

Quarantine Leaves Introvert Home Alone with Nobody to Tell About What an Introvert He Is

NEW YORK — Self-described introvert Barry Laughlin is reportedly struggling to stay sane during the 14-day coronavirus quarantine period, complaining…

5 years ago

Shitty Ass Video Doesn’t Have Goddamn Captions

GREENVILLE, S.C. — Social media user Katie Orkin was seen mumbling curse words under her breath and clenching her fist…

5 years ago

Relaunched StumbleUpon Shuffles User Between Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook

SAN FRANCISCO — The creators of the once-popular website StumbleUpon announced today they are relaunching the service for the modern…

5 years ago

Man Willing to Free Aliens From Base Before Children From Cages

CALIENTE, Nev. — Subreddit moderator for r/RealAliens Devin Byam told sources Friday that, while he would absolutely be willing to…

5 years ago

Facebook Tells Shooter He Could Reach More People If He Boosts Post For $50

SAN FRANCISCO — The Facebook algorithm informed a terrorist yesterday that his video of a horrific mass shooting that murdered…

6 years ago

Dead Aunt Still Sends Candy Crush Requests

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Despite having passed away months ago, local woman Allie Larkin’s aunt Sandra Kelly is reportedly still…

6 years ago

Report: Every Online Friend You Haven’t Heard From in While Is Dead

WASHINGTON — A new report by the Department of Health and Human Services confirmed today that the online friends you…

6 years ago