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Facebook Game Ad Actually Government Recruiting Device to Contract Earth’s Most Skilled Military TacticiansFacebook Game Ad Actually Government Recruiting Device to Contract Earth’s Most Skilled Military Tacticians

Facebook Game Ad Actually Government Recruiting Device to Contract Earth’s Most Skilled Military Tacticians

WASHINGTON — Top government sources have revealed that the Facebook advertisement for a game called Douse The Goblin! is actually…

5 years ago
Facebook Employee Wastes Whole Day on Facebook AgainFacebook Employee Wastes Whole Day on Facebook Again

Facebook Employee Wastes Whole Day on Facebook Again

MENLO PARK — With a wave of disappointment washing over himself for squandering another potentially productive day, an employee at…

5 years ago
Quarantine Leaves Introvert Home Alone with Nobody to Tell About What an Introvert He IsQuarantine Leaves Introvert Home Alone with Nobody to Tell About What an Introvert He Is

Quarantine Leaves Introvert Home Alone with Nobody to Tell About What an Introvert He Is

NEW YORK — Self-described introvert Barry Laughlin is reportedly struggling to stay sane during the 14-day coronavirus quarantine period, complaining…

5 years ago
Shitty Ass Video Doesn’t Have Goddamn CaptionsShitty Ass Video Doesn’t Have Goddamn Captions

Shitty Ass Video Doesn’t Have Goddamn Captions

GREENVILLE, S.C. — Social media user Katie Orkin was seen mumbling curse words under her breath and clenching her fist…

5 years ago
Relaunched StumbleUpon Shuffles User Between Twitter, Reddit, and FacebookRelaunched StumbleUpon Shuffles User Between Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook

Relaunched StumbleUpon Shuffles User Between Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook

SAN FRANCISCO — The creators of the once-popular website StumbleUpon announced today they are relaunching the service for the modern…

6 years ago
Man Willing to Free Aliens From Base Before Children From CagesMan Willing to Free Aliens From Base Before Children From Cages

Man Willing to Free Aliens From Base Before Children From Cages

CALIENTE, Nev. — Subreddit moderator for r/RealAliens Devin Byam told sources Friday that, while he would absolutely be willing to…

6 years ago
Facebook Tells Shooter He Could Reach More People If He Boosts Post For $50Facebook Tells Shooter He Could Reach More People If He Boosts Post For $50

Facebook Tells Shooter He Could Reach More People If He Boosts Post For $50

SAN FRANCISCO — The Facebook algorithm informed a terrorist yesterday that his video of a horrific mass shooting that murdered…

6 years ago
Dead Aunt Still Sends Candy Crush RequestsDead Aunt Still Sends Candy Crush Requests

Dead Aunt Still Sends Candy Crush Requests

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Despite having passed away months ago, local woman Allie Larkin’s aunt Sandra Kelly is reportedly still…

6 years ago
Report: Every Online Friend You Haven’t Heard From in a While Is DeadReport: Every Online Friend You Haven’t Heard From in a While Is Dead

Report: Every Online Friend You Haven’t Heard From in While Is Dead

WASHINGTON — A new report by the Department of Health and Human Services confirmed today that the online friends you…

7 years ago