July 16, 2020 President Trump Appoints Dr. Goomba Tower as New Head, Head, and Head of COVID-19 Task Force President Trump Appoints Dr. Goomba Tower as New Head, Head, and Head of COVID-19 Task Force WASHINGTON — President Trump announced this morning that he would be naming Dr. Goomba Tower as the new head, head, and head of the COVID-19…
March 12, 2020 Dr. Mario Stitches Up Three Goombas in a Stack for Horrifying ‘Goomba-Centipede’ Experiment Dr. Mario Stitches Up Three Goombas in a Stack for Horrifying ‘Goomba-Centipede’ Experiment MUSHROOM KINGDOM — The perverted Dr. Mario has disgraced the medical community once again after stitching together three goomba victims butthole-to-head in a vertical stack,…
July 21, 2017 Q*bert Cosplayer Pronounced Dead After Fall Down Convention Staircase Q*bert Cosplayer Pronounced Dead After Fall Down Convention Staircase SAN DIEGO — Comic Con event staff announced the tragic death of an attendee dressed as 1980s video game protagonist Q*bert today, following a loud, rhythmic…
