donald

Trail of Diet Cokes Set Up to Ensure Smooth Transition of Power

WASHINGTON — President Donald J. Trump has peacefully vacated the White House after following a trail of Diet Coke bottles…

4 years ago

Donald Trump Retracts Lawsuit Barring Pokémon Company From Using Likeness in Muk Cards

WASHINGTON — Following a string of other legal concessions in the waning days of his term, President Donald Trump announced…

4 years ago

Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport

LA PAMPA, Argentina — Donald Trump Jr.’s recent COVID-19 diagnosis has inspired his brother Eric to hunt him for sport,…

4 years ago

Donald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After All

WASHINGTON — After initially claiming he was going to hold out until more exclusive next-gen titles became available, President Donald…

4 years ago

Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out

WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump is facing criticism from Democratic leaders after announcing plans to divert funding from the…

4 years ago

Trump Refuses to Pass Controller After Character Dies

WASHINGTON — Continuing his trend of bucking universally accepted social norms, President Donald Trump today announced his refusal to pass…

4 years ago

Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America

WASHINGTON — Documents leaked by an anonymous whistleblower show that President Donald Trump attempted to hire Bugs Bunny for the…

4 years ago

Democrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private Businesses

WASHINGTON — Democrats in Congress have urged the President Donald Trump to include the hashtag “#Ad” when promoting any private…

4 years ago

Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to…

4 years ago