donald

Trail of Diet Cokes Set Up to Ensure Smooth Transition of PowerTrail of Diet Cokes Set Up to Ensure Smooth Transition of Power

Trail of Diet Cokes Set Up to Ensure Smooth Transition of Power

WASHINGTON — President Donald J. Trump has peacefully vacated the White House after following a trail of Diet Coke bottles…

4 years ago
Donald Trump Retracts Lawsuit Barring Pokémon Company From Using Likeness in Muk CardsDonald Trump Retracts Lawsuit Barring Pokémon Company From Using Likeness in Muk Cards

Donald Trump Retracts Lawsuit Barring Pokémon Company From Using Likeness in Muk Cards

WASHINGTON — Following a string of other legal concessions in the waning days of his term, President Donald Trump announced…

4 years ago
Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for SportEric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport

Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport

LA PAMPA, Argentina — Donald Trump Jr.’s recent COVID-19 diagnosis has inspired his brother Eric to hunt him for sport,…

5 years ago
Donald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After AllDonald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After All

Donald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After All

WASHINGTON — After initially claiming he was going to hold out until more exclusive next-gen titles became available, President Donald…

5 years ago
Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii OutTrump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out

Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out

WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump is facing criticism from Democratic leaders after announcing plans to divert funding from the…

5 years ago
Trump Refuses to Pass Controller After Character DiesTrump Refuses to Pass Controller After Character Dies

Trump Refuses to Pass Controller After Character Dies

WASHINGTON — Continuing his trend of bucking universally accepted social norms, President Donald Trump today announced his refusal to pass…

5 years ago
Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North AmericaLeaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America

Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America

WASHINGTON — Documents leaked by an anonymous whistleblower show that President Donald Trump attempted to hire Bugs Bunny for the…

5 years ago
Democrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private BusinessesDemocrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private Businesses

Democrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private Businesses

WASHINGTON — Democrats in Congress have urged the President Donald Trump to include the hashtag “#Ad” when promoting any private…

5 years ago
Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to DrowningOlimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to…

5 years ago