January 14, 2021 Trail of Diet Cokes Set Up to Ensure Smooth Transition of Power Trail of Diet Cokes Set Up to Ensure Smooth Transition of Power WASHINGTON — President Donald J. Trump has peacefully vacated the White House after following a trail of Diet Coke bottles that appeared overnight, multiple anonymous…
December 16, 2020 Donald Trump Retracts Lawsuit Barring Pokémon Company From Using Likeness in Muk Cards Donald Trump Retracts Lawsuit Barring Pokémon Company From Using Likeness in Muk Cards WASHINGTON — Following a string of other legal concessions in the waning days of his term, President Donald Trump announced this morning that he would…
November 29, 2020 Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport Eric Trump Hunts Weakened Donald Jr. for Sport LA PAMPA, Argentina — Donald Trump Jr.’s recent COVID-19 diagnosis has inspired his brother Eric to hunt him for sport, several sources close to the…
November 8, 2020 Donald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After All Donald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After All WASHINGTON — After initially claiming he was going to hold out until more exclusive next-gen titles became available, President Donald Trump has reversed his claim…
October 24, 2020 Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump is facing criticism from Democratic leaders after announcing plans to divert funding from the Nintendo Wii’s Everybody Votes channel…
October 20, 2020 Trump Refuses to Pass Controller After Character Dies Trump Refuses to Pass Controller After Character Dies WASHINGTON — Continuing his trend of bucking universally accepted social norms, President Donald Trump today announced his refusal to pass the controller to anybody else,…
September 12, 2020 Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America Leaked Documents Show Trump Attempted to Hire Bugs Bunny to Saw Mexico Off From North America WASHINGTON — Documents leaked by an anonymous whistleblower show that President Donald Trump attempted to hire Bugs Bunny for the purpose of sawing Mexico off…
August 18, 2020 Democrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private Businesses Democrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private Businesses WASHINGTON — Democrats in Congress have urged the President Donald Trump to include the hashtag “#Ad” when promoting any private businesses following recent tweets by…
August 8, 2020 Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to cross a river because they…
