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Husband Critiques Accuracy of Wife’s Sexy Slave Leia Outfit to OrgasmHusband Critiques Accuracy of Wife’s Sexy Slave Leia Outfit to Orgasm

Husband Critiques Accuracy of Wife’s Sexy Slave Leia Outfit to Orgasm

DECATUR, Ga. — Local husband and self-described Star Wars aficionado Benny Butler critiqued a ‘sexy Slave Leia’ costume his wife,…

5 years ago
Fearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink HimFearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink Him

Fearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink Him

LOS ANGELES — In a twist that has put his return to movies into troubling context, beloved 80’s and 90’s…

5 years ago
The Avengers Furlough HawkeyeThe Avengers Furlough Hawkeye

The Avengers Furlough Hawkeye

ESOPUS, N.Y.  — The Avengers announced today that they will be making furloughs in order to assist with the gradual…

5 years ago
‘Abrams Cut’ of The Last Jedi Spends Extra 30 Minutes Revealing Who Every Porgs’ Dad Is‘Abrams Cut’ of The Last Jedi Spends Extra 30 Minutes Revealing Who Every Porgs’ Dad Is

‘Abrams Cut’ of The Last Jedi Spends Extra 30 Minutes Revealing Who Every Porgs’ Dad Is

LOS ANGELES — Disney surprise announced a “JJ Abrams Cut” of Star Wars: The Last Jedi this morning which they…

5 years ago
Star Trek Fan Says ‘Happy Holidays’ Instead of ‘May the Fourth Be With You’Star Trek Fan Says ‘Happy Holidays’ Instead of ‘May the Fourth Be With You’

Star Trek Fan Says ‘Happy Holidays’ Instead of ‘May the Fourth Be With You’

CINCINNATI — While many people are observing May 4 as Star Wars Day by saying “may the fourth be with…

5 years ago
Bartender Must Cleave Through Groot to Verify His AgeBartender Must Cleave Through Groot to Verify His Age

Bartender Must Cleave Through Groot to Verify His Age

KNOWHERE, T.R. — A bartender at Starlin’s Bar was forced to cut a section of Groot, a beloved Guardian of…

5 years ago
‘The Rise of Skywalker’ Novelization Reveals You’ve Wasted Your Goddamn Life on This‘The Rise of Skywalker’ Novelization Reveals You’ve Wasted Your Goddamn Life on This

‘The Rise of Skywalker’ Novelization Reveals You’ve Wasted Your Goddamn Life on This

LOS ANGELES — While the ninth and final episode of the "Skywalker Saga" films left many unanswered questions, the novelization…

5 years ago
Bob Iger Steps Down to Make Room for New Disney CEO Baby IgerBob Iger Steps Down to Make Room for New Disney CEO Baby Iger

Bob Iger Steps Down to Make Room for New Disney CEO Baby Iger

BURBANK, Calif. — Disney CEO Bob Iger made a surprise announcement this afternoon that he would be stepping down from…

5 years ago
Disney Breeds Dozens of New Frog Species to Expand National Geographic Streaming ContentDisney Breeds Dozens of New Frog Species to Expand National Geographic Streaming Content

Disney Breeds Dozens of New Frog Species to Expand National Geographic Streaming Content

BURBANK, Calif. — Stating their intent to dramatically increase the wildlife channel’s Disney+ presence, the Walt Disney Company announced today…

5 years ago