death

Eldest Son Incurs Late Father’s Steam Backlog

BUFFALO, N.Y. —  The unveiling of recently deceased Gerald Duncan’s will has revealed that his entire Steam backlog will be…

6 years ago

Olimar Running Out of Tiny Coffins

DISTANT PLANET — At this week's mass funeral of some 614 Pikmin, Captain Olimar of the Hocotate Freight Corporation came…

6 years ago

It’s Time to Cast Black Stan Lee

Stan Lee tragically passed today at the age of 95. He leaves behind as rich a legacy as anyone will…

6 years ago

Report: Every Online Friend You Haven’t Heard From in While Is Dead

WASHINGTON — A new report by the Department of Health and Human Services confirmed today that the online friends you…

6 years ago

Meet the Teens Who Are Murdering Each Other in Real Life Rocket League

Everybody loves a real-life version of a fun video game. A real Italian plumber named Mario? Incredible. An actual person…

7 years ago