July 5, 2020 Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to only breaking a single limb…
June 15, 2020 We Apologize For Publishing Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation We Apologize For Publishing Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation We hear you. This is a fragile point in history, where every voice matters. Particularly when those voices are screaming in pain from the anti-life…
May 21, 2020 HBO Execs Convinced to Release Snyder Cut After Realizing All Their Mothers’ Names Are Martha HBO Execs Convinced to Release Snyder Cut After Realizing All Their Mothers’ Names Are Martha BURBANK, Calif. — Top HBO executives became convinced to release the famous “Snyder Cut” of 2017’s Justice League after realizing at a recent board meeting…
May 10, 2020 Superman Asks Waiter If There’s Kryptonite in His Meal Superman Asks Waiter If There’s Kryptonite in His Meal METROPOLIS — Local superhero Superman reportedly asked his waiter at a restaurant last night if there was any kryptonite in his salmon meal. “Yeah I…
May 1, 2020 Frank Miller Brings Gritty Noir Sensibility to Niece’s Baby Shower Frank Miller Brings Gritty Noir Sensibility to Niece’s Baby Shower SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Iconic comic book author Frank Miller brought his trademark terse and pulpy style to his niece Annabelle’s baby shower last weekend,…
November 27, 2019 We Tried to Find the Snyder Cut and Now We’re Not Even Sure if Zack Snyder Himself Exists We Tried to Find the Snyder Cut and Now We’re Not Even Sure if Zack Snyder Himself Exists
November 27, 2018 Fellow Criminal Insists Batman Ain’t Coming This Time Fellow Criminal Insists Batman Ain’t Coming This Time GOTHAM CITY — Villainous flunky Thomas O’Dowd remains steadfast in his belief that, despite the frequency at which Batman thwarts the activity of criminals in…
October 23, 2018 Fighting Game Character With a Fucking Gun Considered Low Tier Fighting Game Character With a Fucking Gun Considered Low Tier AKRON, Ohio — Due to a recent Injustice 2 patch, famed Batman foil the Joker, who’s ranged attack pulls out a fucking 9mm pistol and…
October 19, 2018 DC Announces Movie Adaptation of Superman 64 DC Announces Movie Adaptation of Superman 64 BURBANK, Calif. — Warner Brothers has announced that the next edition in the DC Extended Universe will be an adaptation of the Nintendo 64 video…
