May 13, 2021 Earth 616 Residents Wary of New Vaccine Developed by Team of Brilliant Scientists Earth 616 Residents Wary of New Vaccine Developed by Team of Brilliant Scientists NEW YORK — Residents of Earth 616’s New York City are reportedly wary of a new COVID-19 vaccine that was created by the top scientists…
May 10, 2021 Jeff Bezos Sees Nothing Wrong With Funding Two Shows About How Lex Luthor’s Arch Nemesis Is Actually the Bad Guy Jeff Bezos Sees Nothing Wrong With Funding Two Shows About How Lex Luthor’s Arch Nemesis Is Actually the Bad Guy SEATTLE — Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos reportedly said today that there’s “nothing weird” about the fact that two popular television shows, The Boys and Invincible,…
April 1, 2021 Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet LOS ANGELES — Following the long awaited release of his highly anticipated extended cut of Justice League, a hubristic Zack Snyder has now released an…
March 24, 2021 Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When a Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When a Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America NORTH SALEM, N.Y. — Professor Charles Xavier, headmaster at Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, is reportedly at a loss as to how to utilize…
March 18, 2021 Review: The ‘Snyder Cut’ Is Whatever We Already Decided About It Before It Came Out Review: The ‘Snyder Cut’ Is Whatever We Already Decided About It Before It Came Out The wait is finally over. Zack Snyder’s long-anticipated redo of 2018’s Justice League, dubbed the “Snyder Cut,” is finally out on HBO Max. After watching…
October 20, 2020 Writer Struck With Inspiration Furiously Writes Down ‘Superman But Evil’ Writer Struck With Inspiration Furiously Writes Down ‘Superman But Evil’ ATLANTA — Writer James Mann was reportedly scribbling down ideas in a moleskine notebook after being suddenly struck with the idea of “Superman if he…
September 6, 2020 Zack Snyder Launches OnlyHaters Account Zack Snyder Launches OnlyHaters Account LOS ANGELES — Polarizing filmmaker Zack Snyder has announced a new account on the OnlyHaters service, which allows devoted detractors of his to subscribe for…
August 30, 2020 Superman Banishes General Zod to Tucker Carlson Guest Box Superman Banishes General Zod to Tucker Carlson Guest Box METROPOLIS — After a brutal and bloody battle through the downtown section of the city, Superman defeated the ruthless General Zod and vanquished him to…
August 4, 2020 New Version of Batman Screams Constantly to Navigate in the Dark New Version of Batman Screams Constantly to Navigate in the Dark BURBANK, Calif. — DC Comics has announced the newest iteration of Batman, who will navigate through the cold, dark streets of Gotham by screaming continuously.…
