dating

Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People

ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes…

4 years ago

Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale

BELLEVUE, Wash. — Online video game retailer Steam has announced an eerily particular sale, seemingly curated exclusively around games you…

4 years ago

Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions

BOCA RATON, Fla. — Debuting his brand-new dating profile, local Tinder user David Bloom, 29, advertised his long-held passions for…

4 years ago

Guide: How to Trick Your Boyfriend Into Thinking He’s Letting You Win

Ever wanted to annihilate your boyfriend in video games without annihilating his fragile male ego? Well with these six simple…

4 years ago

Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local gamer Joe Fleming is reportedly worried that Nintendo’s stunning masterpiece Breath of the Wild has ruined…

4 years ago

Loving Couple Looking to Adopt New TV Show

ANCHORAGE, Ala. — Local couple Alice and Mark Holland are reportedly looking to adopt a new television, bringing it into…

4 years ago

Speedrunner Doesn’t Believe Girlfriend’s Tool-Assisted Orgasm Valid

SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing…

4 years ago

Boyfriend Apologizes for Load Time

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Recent sexual partner Nathan Stenhouse has released an apology for his unacceptably short load time during last…

4 years ago

Video Game Speedrunner Changes Boyfriend’s Language to Japanese to Get Through Argument Quicker

TAMPA, Fla. — Local video game speedrunner Lulu Gardner reportedly changed her boyfriend’s language to Japanese in order to get…

5 years ago