April 10, 2021 Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes have regretfully decided the time…
February 2, 2021 Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale Steam Announces Oddly Specific ‘Games You and Molly Used to Play Before You Broke Up’ Sale BELLEVUE, Wash. — Online video game retailer Steam has announced an eerily particular sale, seemingly curated exclusively around games you used to play with Molly…
December 7, 2020 Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions BOCA RATON, Fla. — Debuting his brand-new dating profile, local Tinder user David Bloom, 29, advertised his long-held passions for eating food, breathing fresh air,…
November 25, 2020 Guide: How to Trick Your Boyfriend Into Thinking He’s Letting You Win Guide: How to Trick Your Boyfriend Into Thinking He’s Letting You Win Ever wanted to annihilate your boyfriend in video games without annihilating his fragile male ego? Well with these six simple tips, you’ll be racking up…
November 22, 2020 Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local gamer Joe Fleming is reportedly worried that Nintendo’s stunning masterpiece Breath of the Wild has ruined any chance that he’ll ever…
November 7, 2020 Loving Couple Looking to Adopt New TV Show Loving Couple Looking to Adopt New TV Show ANCHORAGE, Ala. — Local couple Alice and Mark Holland are reportedly looking to adopt a new television, bringing it into a home filled with love,…
October 11, 2020 Speedrunner Doesn’t Believe Girlfriend’s Tool-Assisted Orgasm Valid Speedrunner Doesn’t Believe Girlfriend’s Tool-Assisted Orgasm Valid SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing that manual orgasms with non-modified…
May 25, 2020 Boyfriend Apologizes for Load Time Boyfriend Apologizes for Load Time SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Recent sexual partner Nathan Stenhouse has released an apology for his unacceptably short load time during last night’s love making session with…
May 1, 2020 Video Game Speedrunner Changes Boyfriend’s Language to Japanese to Get Through Argument Quicker Video Game Speedrunner Changes Boyfriend’s Language to Japanese to Get Through Argument Quicker TAMPA, Fla. — Local video game speedrunner Lulu Gardner reportedly changed her boyfriend’s language to Japanese in order to get through an argument with him…
