covid

GameStop Introduces Curbside Pestering

GRAPEVINE, Texas — As the COVID-19 pandemic continues with no signs of slowing down, GameStop has announced that its patented…

4 years ago

Claudia Conway Reveals Her Mom Pretended to Have COVID to Play Crash Bandicoot 4

WASHINGTON — TikTok sensation Claudia Conway released a series of bombshell videos today revealing that her mother and close Trump…

4 years ago

Local Wedding Linked to 3,500 Deaths

WESTEROS — Following an exhaustive contact tracing study, a recent Riverlands wedding has been linked to 3,500 deaths, sources report.…

4 years ago

Man Risks Life for Opportunity to Explain Tenet to Girlfriend

CHICAGO — Cinephile Brad Reznik attended a showing of Tenet, despite dangers associated with the COVID-19 pandemic, for the opportunity…

4 years ago

Employees Returning to Work for First Time in Months Discover Office Overrun by Weeds

TAMPA, Fla. — Employees returning to the local offices of Seabass Accounting & Tax Services this week were reportedly shocked…

4 years ago

Fall Guys Griefer Just Misses Human Contact

CINCINNATI, Ohio — Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout player Tim Williams insists that the only reason he grabs others at the…

4 years ago

President Trump Appoints Dr. Goomba Tower as New Head, Head, and Head of COVID-19 Task Force

WASHINGTON — President Trump announced this morning that he would be naming Dr. Goomba Tower as the new head, head,…

4 years ago

CDC Recommends All Americans Keep Audio Logs During Pandemic for Future Protagonists to Stumble Upon

WASHINGTON — At a press conference this afternoon, CDC Director Robert Redfield urged all American citizens to begin keeping audio…

5 years ago