country

Opinion: We Must Redistribute the Banana Wealth in This Donkey Kong Country

Fellow citizens, let me ask you a question: how many bananas do you have in your possession right now? Do…

3 years ago

U.S. Announces Plan to Withdraw All Troops from Donkey Kong Country by Christmas

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump took to Twitter last night to announce that all American forces currently serving overseas in…

4 years ago

Diddy Kong Accused of Using System of Barrels to Skip First Two Years of College

EAST LANSING, Mich. — Diddy Kong is the latest celebrity to stand accused of using his celebrity status to bypass…

4 years ago

Price of Barrel With Diddy Kong Stuffed Inside Reaches All Time Low

DONKEY KONG ISLAND — The price of a wooden barrel containing Diddy Kong, beloved friend and sidekick of Donkey Kong,…

4 years ago