January 7, 2021 Heartwarming: This Cop and MAGA Supporter Finally Met After Years of Playing Xbox Live Together Heartwarming: This Cop and MAGA Supporter Finally Met After Years of Playing Xbox Live Together WASHINGTON — A touching tale unfolded this afternoon during the “Stop The Steal” rally as a local police officer and a MAGA supporter united after…
October 6, 2020 All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused from the rule that all…
July 30, 2020 New Call of Duty Game Imagines What If Russia Attacked Own Civilians in Fictional City of PФЯҬLДИD New Call of Duty Game Imagines What If Russia Attacked Own Civilians in Fictional City of PФЯҬLДИD SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision announced that the next game in the Call of Duty franchise, Call of Duty: Uprising, will take place in the…
July 6, 2020 Report: Power Rangers Receive 0 Hours of Training Before Being Given Lethal Megazord Report: Power Rangers Receive 0 Hours of Training Before Being Given Lethal Megazord ANGEL GROVE, Calif. — Despite receiving absolutely no training of any kind, the adolescent vigilante group “Power Rangers” were reportedly handed blasters and keys to…
July 5, 2020 Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to only breaking a single limb…
June 30, 2020 NBC Pulls 143 Episodes of Show for Glorifying White Supremacist Gang Activity NBC Pulls 143 Episodes of Show for Glorifying White Supremacist Gang Activity NEW YORK — Following the removal of episodes of 30 Rock, Community, and Scrubs episodes from streaming services for featuring characters in blackface, NBC Universal…
June 26, 2020 Cops Leave Incendiary Red Barrels Near Protest Sites to Incite Violence Cops Leave Incendiary Red Barrels Near Protest Sites to Incite Violence CLEVELAND — Video evidence of police officers leaving incendiary red barrels near protest sites has created controversy online. “The barrels were not meant to incite…
June 22, 2020 Luigi Loses Left Eye In Collision With Rubber Bullet Bill Luigi Loses Left Eye In Collision With Rubber Bullet Bill NEW DONK CITY — Beloved local hero Luigi was blinded in his left eye at a protest against police brutality yesterday, when he collided with…
June 16, 2020 NYPD Sends Controller to Crime Lab After Officer Loses in Smash Bros NYPD Sends Controller to Crime Lab After Officer Loses in Smash Bros NEW YORK — The NYPD confirmed today that they have launched an official investigation into the controller purchased at a local GameStop by policeman Steve…
