controller

Nearly Unusable Controller Still in Rotation Because It Looks CoolNearly Unusable Controller Still in Rotation Because It Looks Cool

Nearly Unusable Controller Still in Rotation Because It Looks Cool

HUNTSVILLE, Texas — Roommates Audley Stoddard, Jay Heath, and Corwin Reed have announced their intention to continue regularly using a…

5 years ago
Unintuitive Controls Convenient Excuse for Sucking Real Bad at GameUnintuitive Controls Convenient Excuse for Sucking Real Bad at Game

Unintuitive Controls Convenient Excuse for Sucking Real Bad at Game

LODI, N.J. — After consistently failing the same mission over and over, local gamer Josh Chung declared that unintuitive controls…

5 years ago
Strategy Guide: Press the ‘Start’ Button to Start the GameStrategy Guide: Press the ‘Start’ Button to Start the Game

Strategy Guide: Press the ‘Start’ Button to Start the Game

Gatekeeping in the world of video games is an epidemic. It is our duty as those who are “in the…

5 years ago
Xbox Player Making Whole Performance Out of Adjusting to PS4 ControllerXbox Player Making Whole Performance Out of Adjusting to PS4 Controller

Xbox Player Making Whole Performance Out of Adjusting to PS4 Controller

ASTORIA, N.Y. — Despite a litany of other explanations for his subpar performance across several local multiplayer games, local Xbox…

6 years ago
Gamer More Scared of Vibrating Dualshock on Coffee Table than Silent Hill Cutscene That Caused ItGamer More Scared of Vibrating Dualshock on Coffee Table than Silent Hill Cutscene That Caused It

Gamer More Scared of Vibrating Dualshock on Coffee Table than Silent Hill Cutscene That Caused It

TULSA, Okla. — Alex Watson’s Dualshock 2 reportedly went “fucking postal” vibrating on the coffee table in front of him…

6 years ago
Juilliard Introduces Course Teaching Actors to Convincingly Hold ControllersJuilliard Introduces Course Teaching Actors to Convincingly Hold Controllers

Juilliard Introduces Course Teaching Actors to Convincingly Hold Controllers

NEW YORK — The world-renowned Juilliard Academy for Performing Arts announced that it has created a new course specifically designed…

7 years ago
Team Ninja Invents One-Handed Controller for Dead or Alive Xtreme FranchiseTeam Ninja Invents One-Handed Controller for Dead or Alive Xtreme Franchise

Team Ninja Invents One-Handed Controller for Dead or Alive Xtreme Franchise

TOKYO — Yosuke Hayashi, president of famed software developer Team Ninja, announced the production of a new controller specifically designed…

7 years ago
45 Dead After Disastrous Debut of Mad Catz Self-Driving Car45 Dead After Disastrous Debut of Mad Catz Self-Driving Car

45 Dead After Disastrous Debut of Mad Catz Self-Driving Car

SAINT PAUL, Minn. — Tragedy struck today as the first public showcase of the self-driving car invented by infamous video…

7 years ago
Opinion: My Controller’s Being WeirdOpinion: My Controller’s Being Weird

Opinion: My Controller’s Being Weird

It is time for our nation to come together and agree that my controller is being weird as hell right…

7 years ago