June 23, 2021 Broken PC Transforms Hardcore Gamer Into Just a Normal Run-of-the-Mill Bigot Broken PC Transforms Hardcore Gamer Into Just a Normal Run-of-the-Mill Bigot ANN ARBOR, Mich. — While saving up to repair his broken gaming PC, local man Josh Quell underwent a transformation from an elite gamer into…
January 29, 2021 Man With Steam Library of 2,000 Games Survives Apocalypse, Steps on Graphics Card Man With Steam Library of 2,000 Games Survives Apocalypse, Steps on Graphics Card LAS VEGAS — Local gamer Aaron Byrne ascended from his homemade backyard bunker sobbing today, lamenting the loss of the one piece of hardware that…
December 25, 2020 Kid Who Asked for Console Gets Lump of Coal With “Get a PC” Written on It Kid Who Asked for Console Gets Lump of Coal With “Get a PC” Written on It ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local gamer Madison Sutton, 12, hoped to find a PS5 video game console under the Christmas tree this morning, but instead…
August 4, 2020 Gamer Builds PC That Should Be Upgradeable All the Way Through Midlife Crisis Gamer Builds PC That Should Be Upgradeable All the Way Through Midlife Crisis NEW YORK — Estimating that his components could continue providing decent performance even several years in the future when he realizes that his best years…
April 22, 2020 Facebook Employee Wastes Whole Day on Facebook Again Facebook Employee Wastes Whole Day on Facebook Again MENLO PARK — With a wave of disappointment washing over himself for squandering another potentially productive day, an employee at Facebook headquarters was reportedly distraught…
June 15, 2019 Opinion: Update My Software, You Lazy Piece of Shit Opinion: Update My Software, You Lazy Piece of Shit Hey you with the mac and cheese stains on their shirt. It’s time to close all those tabs you won’t read, save all the documents…
November 28, 2017 Dad Says Gateway Computer Is Yours If You Ever Need It Dad Says Gateway Computer Is Yours If You Ever Need It VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — Suggesting you “could definitely put it to good use,” your dad reminded you this morning that you are “free to take”…
