March 24, 2021 Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When a Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America Professor X Unsure What to Do With Mutant Whose Only Power Is Knowing When a Bob Seger Song Is Playing on Any Classic Rock Radio Station in America NORTH SALEM, N.Y. — Professor Charles Xavier, headmaster at Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, is reportedly at a loss as to how to utilize…
September 4, 2020 Sony Acquires Exclusive Rights to All Spiders and Men, Just to Be Safe Sony Acquires Exclusive Rights to All Spiders and Men, Just to Be Safe NEW YORK — Sony Entertainment has acquired exclusive rights to all depictions of arachnids and men in film, television, and video games, just in case…
August 30, 2020 Superman Banishes General Zod to Tucker Carlson Guest Box Superman Banishes General Zod to Tucker Carlson Guest Box METROPOLIS — After a brutal and bloody battle through the downtown section of the city, Superman defeated the ruthless General Zod and vanquished him to…
July 23, 2020 Man Expected to Remember What Happened in Comic Book He Read a Month Ago Man Expected to Remember What Happened in Comic Book He Read a Month Ago RIDGEWOOD, N.J. — Local comic book enthusiast Casey Little was frustrated and slightly offended that the writers of his favorite comic books expect him to…
July 5, 2020 Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to only breaking a single limb…
June 15, 2020 We Apologize For Publishing Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation We Apologize For Publishing Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation We hear you. This is a fragile point in history, where every voice matters. Particularly when those voices are screaming in pain from the anti-life…
May 10, 2020 Superman Asks Waiter If There’s Kryptonite in His Meal Superman Asks Waiter If There’s Kryptonite in His Meal METROPOLIS — Local superhero Superman reportedly asked his waiter at a restaurant last night if there was any kryptonite in his salmon meal. “Yeah I…
May 1, 2020 Frank Miller Brings Gritty Noir Sensibility to Niece’s Baby Shower Frank Miller Brings Gritty Noir Sensibility to Niece’s Baby Shower SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Iconic comic book author Frank Miller brought his trademark terse and pulpy style to his niece Annabelle’s baby shower last weekend,…
March 19, 2020 New Marvel Superhero ‘Cuckold’ Wears Name as a Badge New Marvel Superhero ‘Cuckold’ Wears Name as a Badge LOS ANGELES — In a press release this morning, Marvel Comics announced a new inclusive superhero named Cuckold, a 32-year-old man who can only shoot…
