climate change

Here’s All the Bugs and Fish Leaving Animal Crossing in December Due to the Irreversible Effects of Climate Change

December is almost over and you know what that means: it’s your last chance to get certain bugs and fish…

4 years ago

Tony Stark Announces Plan to Reverse Climate Change with Big Honkin’ Laser

NEW YORK —  Billionaire industrialist Tony Stark announced a proposal today that would solve the ongoing climate crisis by shooting…

4 years ago

Report: Shields May Be as Low as 30%

THE GHOST NEBULA — While battling the warrior race, The Zardecks, experts on the Spaceship Baychimo, warn that the ship’s…

4 years ago

Number of Video Games Worldwide Hits Record High

WASHINGTON — Experts have released a troubling new report that the number of video games worldwide has hit a record…

4 years ago

Termina Resident Convinced Giant, Ominous Moon Liberal Hoax

CLOCK TOWN — A Termina citizen took to the streets yesterday to denounce the large, ominous moon inching ever closer…

4 years ago

Climate Report Warns Global Warming Not Quite Strong Enough to Make Seaman Extinct

WASHINGTON — Climate scientists have solemnly published a new report which warns that, while the effects of climate change are…

4 years ago

Scientists Discover Earth is Heating Up Due to Some Guy Hitting Consecutive Shots in ‘NBA Jam’

WASHINGTON — Climate scientists unveiled their findings today that the Earth’s temperature is rising because some dude named Jeremy has…

5 years ago

Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

PARIS — Top climate scientists released a new peer-reviewed research paper today, which warns that all Super Mario stages will…

7 years ago