December 30, 2020 Here’s All the Bugs and Fish Leaving Animal Crossing in December Due to the Irreversible Effects of Climate Change Here’s All the Bugs and Fish Leaving Animal Crossing in December Due to the Irreversible Effects of Climate Change December is almost over and you know what that means: it’s your last chance to get certain bugs and fish in Animal Crossing: New Horizons…
October 12, 2020 Tony Stark Announces Plan to Reverse Climate Change with Big Honkin’ Laser Tony Stark Announces Plan to Reverse Climate Change with Big Honkin’ Laser NEW YORK — Billionaire industrialist Tony Stark announced a proposal today that would solve the ongoing climate crisis by shooting a big ol’ honkin’ laser…
September 1, 2020 Report: Shields May Be as Low as 30% Report: Shields May Be as Low as 30% THE GHOST NEBULA — While battling the warrior race, The Zardecks, experts on the Spaceship Baychimo, warn that the ship’s shields have dropped to 30%…
July 31, 2020 Number of Video Games Worldwide Hits Record High Number of Video Games Worldwide Hits Record High WASHINGTON — Experts have released a troubling new report that the number of video games worldwide has hit a record high. “These findings are absolutely…
July 9, 2020 Termina Resident Convinced Giant, Ominous Moon a Liberal Hoax Termina Resident Convinced Giant, Ominous Moon a Liberal Hoax CLOCK TOWN — A Termina citizen took to the streets yesterday to denounce the large, ominous moon inching ever closer to the city as “a…
May 29, 2020 Climate Report Warns Global Warming Not Quite Strong Enough to Make Seaman Extinct Climate Report Warns Global Warming Not Quite Strong Enough to Make Seaman Extinct WASHINGTON — Climate scientists have solemnly published a new report which warns that, while the effects of climate change are sure to be devastating worldwide,…
January 7, 2020 Scientists Discover Earth is Heating Up Due to Some Guy Hitting Consecutive Shots in ‘NBA Jam’ Scientists Discover Earth is Heating Up Due to Some Guy Hitting Consecutive Shots in ‘NBA Jam’ WASHINGTON — Climate scientists unveiled their findings today that the Earth’s temperature is rising because some dude named Jeremy has made consecutive shots while playing…
July 11, 2017 Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025 Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025 PARIS — Top climate scientists released a new peer-reviewed research paper today, which warns that all Super Mario stages will become underwater levels within the…
