Christianity

Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and OceanDay Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean

Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean

LOS ANGELES — Sunday morning kicked off Day Two of E3 with conferences from Microsoft, Square Enix, and Our Lord…

4 years ago
Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel JosephTwitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph

Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph

SAN FRANCISCO — Just before Christmas, video streaming platform Twitch has banned users from making any mention of the Virgin…

4 years ago
Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications DirectorLifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director

Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director

WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for…

5 years ago
And When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried YouAnd When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried You

And When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried You

One night I dreamed a team. As I was walking along the storage town with my Lord, Across the dark…

5 years ago
God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create DudesGod Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes

God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes

HEAVEN — The almighty being who created the heavens and earth, God, admitted today that it’s actually kinda gay to…

5 years ago
Christian Mothers Agree It’s Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to Discourage CampingChristian Mothers Agree It’s Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to Discourage Camping

Christian Mothers Agree It’s Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to Discourage Camping

SHEBOYGAN, Wisc. — In an impromptu meeting reacting to the release of the latest game in the controversial Satanic-themed first-person…

5 years ago
Study: 85% of Christians Still Do Not Believe Humans Evolved From Donkey KongStudy: 85% of Christians Still Do Not Believe Humans Evolved From Donkey Kong

Study: 85% of Christians Still Do Not Believe Humans Evolved From Donkey Kong

WASHINGTON — According to a nationwide survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, an overwhelming 85% of Christians do not…

5 years ago
Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite MetaphorYouth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor

Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor

SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Pastor Paul Michaels of the Cornerstone Church announced today that he is currently on the verge…

6 years ago
Rip-Off: God of War Christianity DLC Only Has One BossRip-Off: God of War Christianity DLC Only Has One Boss

Rip-Off: God of War Christianity DLC Only Has One Boss

Sources have confirmed that the upcoming God of War: Christianity DLC will only have one boss, a move that many see as…

7 years ago