June 15, 2021 Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean LOS ANGELES — Sunday morning kicked off Day Two of E3 with conferences from Microsoft, Square Enix, and Our Lord showcasing the new Halo’s multiplayer,…
December 18, 2020 Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph Twitch Bans All Mentions of Virgin Mary and Incel Joseph SAN FRANCISCO — Just before Christmas, video streaming platform Twitch has banned users from making any mention of the Virgin Mary, the Incel Joseph or…
September 4, 2020 Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director Lifelong Devil’s Advocate Promoted to Devil’s Communications Director WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for The Devil’s administration, a senior…
May 24, 2020 And When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried You And When There Was Only One Set of Kills in Duos, That Was When I Carried You One night I dreamed a team. As I was walking along the storage town with my Lord, Across the dark sky flashed incoming players from…
March 29, 2020 God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes God Admits It’s Kinda Gay to Create Dudes HEAVEN — The almighty being who created the heavens and earth, God, admitted today that it’s actually kinda gay to create guys if you think…
March 29, 2020 Christian Mothers Agree It’s Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to Discourage Camping Christian Mothers Agree It’s Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to Discourage Camping SHEBOYGAN, Wisc. — In an impromptu meeting reacting to the release of the latest game in the controversial Satanic-themed first-person shooter franchise, a coalition of…
February 28, 2020 Study: 85% of Christians Still Do Not Believe Humans Evolved From Donkey Kong Study: 85% of Christians Still Do Not Believe Humans Evolved From Donkey Kong WASHINGTON — According to a nationwide survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, an overwhelming 85% of Christians do not accept the scientific truth that…
September 17, 2018 Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor Youth Pastor on the Verge of Cracking Fortnite Metaphor SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Pastor Paul Michaels of the Cornerstone Church announced today that he is currently on the verge of figuring out a solid…
September 16, 2018 Rip-Off: God of War Christianity DLC Only Has One Boss Rip-Off: God of War Christianity DLC Only Has One Boss Sources have confirmed that the upcoming God of War: Christianity DLC will only have one boss, a move that many see as continuing a trend of studios…
