character

Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People

ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes…

4 years ago

New Star Wars Character Actually From Some Book

ATLANTA — A new character mentioned in the latest episode of Disney+ show The Mandalorian is reportedly actually from a…

4 years ago

Miniboss Laying It on Little Thick With Pre-Battle Speech

REALM OF DISDAIN — Shortly before losing a recent battle with an adventurer, local mid-level demon Ulgruuf the Unyielding reportedly…

4 years ago

Disgraced ‘Smash Bros.’ Player Announces Hiatus, Plans to Main Self for Little While

SEATTLE — Tyler Wendell, the latest pro Super Smash Bros. player accused of sexual misconduct, has announced that he will…

4 years ago

My List of 45 Things Gay Character Needs In Order for Me to Think They’re Necessary

Thanks to the virtue signaling politics of Hollywood, it seems that gays in modern media are harder to avoid than…

5 years ago

Google Itching to Autofill “Death” as User Types in TV Show Character Name

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — The Google algorithm was reportedly itching to autofill the word “death” as user Marianne Gibbs typed…

5 years ago

Parents Main Youngest Son

BRIGHAM CITY, Utah — Parents of seven and familial strategists Angela and Brent Fuller have been consistently maining their youngest…

5 years ago

Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self

TUCSON, Ariz. — Avid gamer Mark Spears utilized a video game character creation tool with millions of possibilities, including hundreds…

7 years ago