April 10, 2021 Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — After several years of mastering each others’ subtle quirks, local couple Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes have regretfully decided the time…
November 29, 2020 New Star Wars Character Actually From Some Book New Star Wars Character Actually From Some Book ATLANTA — A new character mentioned in the latest episode of Disney+ show The Mandalorian is reportedly actually from a book or comic or something…
October 18, 2020 Miniboss Laying It on a Little Thick With Pre-Battle Speech Miniboss Laying It on a Little Thick With Pre-Battle Speech REALM OF DISDAIN — Shortly before losing a recent battle with an adventurer, local mid-level demon Ulgruuf the Unyielding reportedly got a bit carried away…
July 21, 2020 Disgraced ‘Smash Bros.’ Player Announces Hiatus, Plans to Main Self for a Little While Disgraced ‘Smash Bros.’ Player Announces Hiatus, Plans to Main Self for a Little While SEATTLE — Tyler Wendell, the latest pro Super Smash Bros. player accused of sexual misconduct, has announced that he will be taking some time off…
June 13, 2020 My List of 45 Things a Gay Character Needs In Order for Me to Think They’re Necessary My List of 45 Things a Gay Character Needs In Order for Me to Think They’re Necessary Thanks to the virtue signaling politics of Hollywood, it seems that gays in modern media are harder to avoid than ever. Just last week, I…
May 18, 2020 Google Itching to Autofill “Death” as User Types in TV Show Character Name Google Itching to Autofill “Death” as User Types in TV Show Character Name MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — The Google algorithm was reportedly itching to autofill the word “death” as user Marianne Gibbs typed in the name of a…
February 7, 2020 Parents Main Youngest Son Parents Main Youngest Son BRIGHAM CITY, Utah — Parents of seven and familial strategists Angela and Brent Fuller have been consistently maining their youngest son Kevin, neglected sources report.…
August 17, 2017 Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self Video Game Player with Infinite Possibilities Creates Character That Looks Like Self TUCSON, Ariz. — Avid gamer Mark Spears utilized a video game character creation tool with millions of possibilities, including hundreds of different fantasy species, to…
