cdc

CDC Urges Americans to Acquire New Skills and Outfits for When Time Skip Ends

ATLANTA — In an attempt to help Americans better understand and adjust to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Center for Disease…

4 years ago

CDC Warns of Contagious Brain Parasite That Convinces People Buying Gaming Chair Is a Good Idea

ATLANTA — Warning that the spread of the new threat would only add further strain to the ongoing global health…

4 years ago

CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’

ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention held a press conference today explaining in detail the health risks…

5 years ago

CDC Recommends All Americans Keep Audio Logs During Pandemic for Future Protagonists to Stumble Upon

WASHINGTON — At a press conference this afternoon, CDC Director Robert Redfield urged all American citizens to begin keeping audio…

5 years ago

CDC Puts Temporary Ban on Playing Assassin’s Creed II

WASHINGTON — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has placed a temporary ban on playing the game Assassin’s Creed…

5 years ago