January 25, 2021 CDC Urges Americans to Acquire New Skills and Outfits for When Time Skip Ends CDC Urges Americans to Acquire New Skills and Outfits for When Time Skip Ends ATLANTA — In an attempt to help Americans better understand and adjust to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a…
November 12, 2020 CDC Warns of Contagious Brain Parasite That Convinces People Buying a Gaming Chair Is a Good Idea CDC Warns of Contagious Brain Parasite That Convinces People Buying a Gaming Chair Is a Good Idea ATLANTA — Warning that the spread of the new threat would only add further strain to the ongoing global health crisis, virologists at the CDC…
March 17, 2020 CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’ CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’ ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention held a press conference today explaining in detail the health risks of touching Mario’s face in…
March 13, 2020 CDC Recommends All Americans Keep Audio Logs During Pandemic for Future Protagonists to Stumble Upon CDC Recommends All Americans Keep Audio Logs During Pandemic for Future Protagonists to Stumble Upon WASHINGTON — At a press conference this afternoon, CDC Director Robert Redfield urged all American citizens to begin keeping audio diaries during the COVID-19 pandemic,…
March 10, 2020 CDC Puts Temporary Ban on Playing Assassin’s Creed II CDC Puts Temporary Ban on Playing Assassin’s Creed II WASHINGTON — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has placed a temporary ban on playing the game Assassin’s Creed II during the coronavirus outbreak…
