April 30, 2020 Board Game Winner Devastated to Learn Friend Actually Would Have Won in Like Two More Turns Board Game Winner Devastated to Learn Friend Actually Would Have Won in Like Two More Turns NORFORK, Va. — Local Catan winner Luna Haynes was distraught to discover that her friend Mike Sandoval would have won the game if it had…
May 22, 2019 Settlers of Catan Player Receives Passive-Aggressive ‘Longest Turn’ Card Settlers of Catan Player Receives Passive-Aggressive ‘Longest Turn’ Card BALTIMORE — After collecting seven resources off the roll, trading with two other players, then using twelve resources and a development card to establish four…
April 20, 2019 Quiz: Is He Really Committed or Does He Just Need a 4th For Catan? Quiz: Is He Really Committed or Does He Just Need a 4th For Catan? So you’ve been dating your new prince charming for a while now, and you’re ready to take that next big step with him. But is…
February 26, 2019 Friend Asking Around For Wood Like It Grows on Fucking Trees Friend Asking Around For Wood Like It Grows on Fucking Trees BUFFALO, N.Y. — Novice Settlers of Catan player Jason Meyers reportedly made repeated pleas for wood from his fellow players during a local game that…
June 1, 2018 Sheep Can’t Believe He’s Being Traded for Fucking Wheat Sheep Can’t Believe He’s Being Traded for Fucking Wheat CATAN — After intense trade negotiations concluded late Wednesday on the geographically diverse archipelago of Catan, a sheep belonging to one of the German settlers…
