call of duty

Wounded Iraq War Veteran Cured After Crouching Behind Box For Five Seconds

WASHINGTON — The Department of Veteran Affairs revealed a catch-all cure for combat veterans that simply requires them to hide…

7 years ago

New Battlefield to Take Place Entirely on Message Board

Having shifted locales recently from World War II to modern times and then going back to World War I, DICE…

7 years ago

Military Tribunal Formally Reprimands Soldier for Teabagging 15 Enemy Combatants

THE HAUGE, Netherlands — In a closed-door trial, military leaders leveled punishment against Sgt. Paul Jackson (aka UberDomed2005) for war…

7 years ago

Guidance Counselor Furious Professional Gamer An Actual Thing Now

ALBANY, N.Y. — High school guidance counselor Michelle Hollenbeck expressed profound anger today after learning competitive gaming has become a…

7 years ago

Top Ranked Call of Duty Player Also Noted Race Scholar

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local student Hollis Wheaton gave a groundbreaking lecture last night on American race relations while holding the…

8 years ago