brawl

Guy Who’s Really Good at Landing Mario’s Forward Smash Can’t Possibly Have Hurt All Those People

SAN DIEGO — Fans of professional Smash Bros. player and alleged sexual predator ‘K1ra’ have reported widespread feelings of disbelief…

4 years ago

Boyfriend Down to Two Stocks After Being Knocked Off Bed

ALBANY, N.Y. — Local boyfriend Dennis McElris is reportedly down to just two stocks after being knocked off the bed…

5 years ago

Purist Surgeon Refuses to Operate Surgery Robot With Anything but GameCube Controller

BOSTON — Explaining that newer controllers don’t quite provide the same comfort or familiarity, surgeon Dr. Frank Powell said this…

6 years ago

“Guy Who Only Wants to Play Melee” Added to Smash Bros Roster

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo revealed today that the newest addition to the roster of the upcoming Nintendo Switch Super Smash Bros…

7 years ago

Director of Mario Movie Revealed to be Two Gloved Hands

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today in a press release that the future Mario film will be directed by two…

7 years ago

Our Interview with Red Pikmin Who Escaped Captain Olimar’s Sex Cult

For years, Captain Olimar has been seen as a beloved hero by the people of Hocotate for his ability to…

7 years ago