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Millennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has Few Empty Sleeves

EVANSTON, Ill. — 28-year-old bartender Grace Federman reportedly discovered several empty sleeves in her retirement portfolio after going through the…

4 years ago

Oprah Announces Newest Book Club Entry, ‘101 Fortnite Tips & Tricks’

CHICAGO — Oprah Winfrey shocked the gaming and literary worlds today by announcing that the newest entry in her long…

4 years ago

Dark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is Good

OXFORD, England — Devoted fans of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series have hypothesized that the multiverse contained in the…

5 years ago

God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has Bunch of Songs in It

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Horrified readers across the nation are reporting highly anticipated fantasy novel Obelisk of Dawn is packed with…

5 years ago

New Tom Clancy Novel About Friggin Gun That Became President

BALTIMORE — Sources report that the newest novel in the Jack Ryan series originally created by Tom Clancy before his…

6 years ago