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Millennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has a Few Empty SleevesMillennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has a Few Empty Sleeves

Millennial’s Retirement Portfolio Still Has Few Empty Sleeves

EVANSTON, Ill. — 28-year-old bartender Grace Federman reportedly discovered several empty sleeves in her retirement portfolio after going through the…

4 years ago
Oprah Announces Newest Book Club Entry, ‘101 Fortnite Tips & Tricks’Oprah Announces Newest Book Club Entry, ‘101 Fortnite Tips & Tricks’

Oprah Announces Newest Book Club Entry, ‘101 Fortnite Tips & Tricks’

CHICAGO — Oprah Winfrey shocked the gaming and literary worlds today by announcing that the newest entry in her long…

4 years ago
Dark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is GoodDark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is Good

Dark Tower Multiverse Technically Allows for World Where Film Adaptation Is Good

OXFORD, England — Devoted fans of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series have hypothesized that the multiverse contained in the…

5 years ago
God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has a Bunch of Songs in ItGod Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has a Bunch of Songs in It

God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has Bunch of Songs in It

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Horrified readers across the nation are reporting highly anticipated fantasy novel Obelisk of Dawn is packed with…

5 years ago
New Tom Clancy Novel About a Friggin Gun That Became PresidentNew Tom Clancy Novel About a Friggin Gun That Became President

New Tom Clancy Novel About Friggin Gun That Became President

BALTIMORE — Sources report that the newest novel in the Jack Ryan series originally created by Tom Clancy before his…

7 years ago