March 25, 2020 Coup Player Clearly Lying About Being Your Friend Coup Player Clearly Lying About Being Your Friend BOSTON — Suspecting that one of your card-playing guests obviously cannot be an Ambassador or the Contessa, game night sources report one of these Coup…
March 6, 2020 Guy Stuck in Jumanji for 30 Years Just Wants to Consult Rulebook to See If That Was Supposed to Happen Guy Stuck in Jumanji for 30 Years Just Wants to Consult Rulebook to See If That Was Supposed to Happen JUMANJI — Board game enthusiast Jesse Harrington just wants to know if it says somewhere in the rules if he’s supposed to have been trapped…
February 26, 2020 Host Offers Choice Between This Really Dope Board Game That Sounds Awesome and Two Others Host Offers Choice Between This Really Dope Board Game That Sounds Awesome and Two Others SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local game night host Paul Cumiskey has been subjected to heavy criticism following guests’ accusations of bias in his presentation of potential…
May 22, 2019 Settlers of Catan Player Receives Passive-Aggressive ‘Longest Turn’ Card Settlers of Catan Player Receives Passive-Aggressive ‘Longest Turn’ Card BALTIMORE — After collecting seven resources off the roll, trading with two other players, then using twelve resources and a development card to establish four…
May 18, 2019 New Board Game Uses All Your Other Unopened Board Games as Resource Tokens New Board Game Uses All Your Other Unopened Board Games as Resource Tokens CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Fantasy Flight Games released a highly anticipated new board game this week, titled Storage Worlds, which features the revolutionary mechanic of using…
March 30, 2018 Study Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex Appeal Study Finds 100% Correlation Between Winning Board Games and Irresistible Sex Appeal DENVER — Scientists have announced the discovery of a clear, 100% correlation between the stunning board game skill of sophomore college student Steven Jackson and…
January 23, 2018 Only Objective of Complicated Board Game is Accurately Setting It Up Only Objective of Complicated Board Game is Accurately Setting It Up INDIANAPOLIS — The Cyclopean Cycle, a board game so convoluted that players win by merely assembling it correctly, has become one of this year’s most anticipated…
November 10, 2017 Sony Approves Settlers of Catan Movie Budget of 8,000 Wood, 9,000 Sheep, 4,000 Ore, 5,000 Wheat, 9,000 Brick Sony Approves Settlers of Catan Movie Budget of 8,000 Wood, 9,000 Sheep, 4,000 Ore, 5,000 Wheat, 9,000 Brick LOS ANGELES — Sony has approved a substantial budget for the upcoming Settlers of Catan movie, after much deliberation over sheep, wood, ore, wheat, and…
August 1, 2017 D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy DECATUR, Ga. — A local Dungeons & Dragons collective has ousted their overreaching despot today, in what is being reported as a populist coup. In…
