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Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email AddressDanny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address

Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address

LAS VEGAS — Master heist organizer Danny Ocean has reportedly gathered a team of top criminals, acrobats, and smooth talkers…

4 years ago
Former StarCraft 2 Pro Has Highest Microsoft Excel APM in OfficeFormer StarCraft 2 Pro Has Highest Microsoft Excel APM in Office

Former StarCraft 2 Pro Has Highest Microsoft Excel APM in Office

SAN DIEGO — Former StarCraft 2 all-star Sergio Luna reportedly has the highest actions per minute (APM) in Microsoft Excel…

5 years ago
Nancy Pelosi Plays Single Match as Doomfist in Honor of Black Lives MatterNancy Pelosi Plays Single Match as Doomfist in Honor of Black Lives Matter

Nancy Pelosi Plays Single Match as Doomfist in Honor of Black Lives Matter

WASHINGTON — Nancy Pelosi played a match of Overwatch as the black character Doomfist earlier this morning to celebrate Black…

5 years ago
Following Patch, Overwatch Cereal Now Part of a Well-Balanced BreakfastFollowing Patch, Overwatch Cereal Now Part of a Well-Balanced Breakfast

Following Patch, Overwatch Cereal Now Part of Well-Balanced Breakfast

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. —  Following criticism of the Overwatch themed breakfast cereal’s initial release, Kellogg’s announced that their Lucio Oh’s…

5 years ago
Blizzard Gives Employees Box With 8.3% Chance of Containing Pink SlipBlizzard Gives Employees Box With 8.3% Chance of Containing Pink Slip

Blizzard Gives Employees Box With 8.3% Chance of Containing Pink Slip

IRVINE, Calif. — After a recent earnings report announced record revenue, Activision-Blizzard initiated layoffs by handing out boxes to its…

6 years ago
Activision Blizzard CEO Cancels All Microtransactions After Being Visited by 2 Free Ghosts and an Additional Ghost for $3.99Activision Blizzard CEO Cancels All Microtransactions After Being Visited by 2 Free Ghosts and an Additional Ghost for $3.99

Activision Blizzard CEO Cancels All Microtransactions After Being Visited by 2 Free Ghosts and an Additional Ghost for $3.99

When Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick awoke, it was so dark, he could scarcely distinguish the transparent window from the…

6 years ago
Man Who “Dips Toe” Back Into World of Warcraft Quickly Loses Job, Friends, ApartmentMan Who “Dips Toe” Back Into World of Warcraft Quickly Loses Job, Friends, Apartment

Man Who “Dips Toe” Back Into World of Warcraft Quickly Loses Job, Friends, Apartment

SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Casual World of Warcraft fan Michael Andor reportedly told friends that he was just looking dip…

7 years ago
Inspiring: This Overwatch Team Started Winning After Their Genji Called Everyone Gay and LeftInspiring: This Overwatch Team Started Winning After Their Genji Called Everyone Gay and Left

Inspiring: This Overwatch Team Started Winning After Their Genji Called Everyone Gay and Left

Overwatch is a game won by strategy, skills, and a little bit of ol’ fashioned teamwork! That’s what makes this…

7 years ago
Blizzard Launches Restaurant With Shitty ServersBlizzard Launches Restaurant With Shitty Servers

Blizzard Launches Restaurant With Shitty Servers

IRVINE, Calif. — Early reports coming from Blizzard Entertainment's newest venture, a newly opened downtown cafe, are indicating that the…

7 years ago